Little Clouds of Doubt

2010-09-10T01:14:00.002+08:00

With a pen, I pen my thoughts.

Guilt without being guilty.
Sorrow without being sorry and,
Anger without being angry.

Sometimes, it's better to stay out of unhappiness route. The consequence of reminscing a fragment of your past would lead to nothing more than a tide of melancholy, nostalgia and dread - dread of what is to come of yourself. That's what happened, today. When things do no go where you want it to head and when bulging into things seem like the only solution to life's philosophical answers, it's always the irrational mind that takes over : an example? Crashing a game that one was not meant to crash.

Sometimes, I simply wished that I had a reticent nature and not a loquacious and garrulous one. How i deplored the gab that doesn't seem to cease it's frenzy. A group of 5, but the atmosphere of 4, how can one picture that - a void in the middle of a picture or a hole within cracks between friendship. I cannot imagine what it was like before, nor can i muse over what is to come. Contemplate the unknown and still be bewildered like a bee in a vortex, a maelstrom of confusion.

The perplexity of my mortal existance is draining me of my every ability - to think, to speak, to dream, to wonder and to wish. Here, I am, in a self-induced state of gloom, always pondering over the non-existant. I wished I didn't read so much into things - but I can't help it. It's like the back of my head had already been hardwired to mull over such intricate details. I want to play possum and just let the whole event tide over but I cannot seem to achieve such a result. I hate my life and I beseech the lord to bestow upon me a better social life, to see beyond the dull horizon that is presently placed before me. I want to feel and breathe the air and witness the glorious rise of a new beginning.

That sort of feel, the feeling that your friends are plagued with the demon of indifference. Even the faces of long time friends, best friends, close friends or all degrees seem to neglect you like an infinitesimal weasel - like you're an insignificant insect that could be easily tossed and shoved aside, no not shoved, that would be too strong a word for an insect - maybe crush. The feeling of pure dysphoria, that you are in dystopia where everything seems hellish for you - no one can ever comprehend that grotesque scenes other than those who have endured the baptism of flames, the demonic clutches of hell and emerge a man who have seen it all. I, want to be that man, that man who is able to omit the flaws and imperfections of a social life and move on with a satisfaction for some unknown reason.

The disdain that is casted upon a friend who had once been very much like a brother, pours like a waterfall leaving not miry tracks of memories but engraved harm to grief, turbulance and strife. Hatred, perhaps? I don't know, yes, even I cannot seem to get a full grasp of what I'm actually feeling now. It's like a mishmash palette of digust, insecurity, forlorn and gloom. A whirlpool of perplexity beyond the likes of human beings to expound on.

Too bad for my readers, I am not James Joyce and I cannot write in an abundant stream of consciousness. One must truly be a genius if one can fully grasp what I've written.

I shall be ignore and ignored to bed i shall.

2010-05-09T18:11:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, it's hard to understand what others say.

Sometimes, I am just too dumb to understand what they say.

Other times, I understand what others are trying to say but do not accept the ideology.

Sometimes, I feel, theories should not be told unless true.

Sometimes, I feel, I should just keep quiet.

Other times, I feel like I'm history.

But please please, do not misunderstand me, for this is not a post of the angst a teenager would feel; it would be meaningless, no one would want to read it. The things that one experience in their daily life is always unexpected and surprising.

Isn't it nice to be looked down upon, when you're at the bottom what other way can you go? As people always say, the higher you climb the harder you fall, so why bother? Just sink into oblivion, allow the dark abyss to take you in for it is comforting, sedating and embracing. Demeaning, yes, but Smile:)

Theory : Number of hours spent with a book in hand would determine how intelligent you are as it goes to show how much time you need to understand a text or a piece of information. Grades and results are an ideal measure of your intelligence as well as the life path that you should and OUGHT to take. Now, take a minute to digest that. To some, that makes no sense, to others (hypocrites) ideas such as this is just discriminatory and stupid, it is not true ( but they still use it... to judge others). Whereas, the more innocent and mature ones, would look at it, understand and reflect. Reflect on what they have done with regards to the above mention theory; feel sorry for what they did in the past and carry on with life in hope that they would not be guilty to the crime again.

Now, have anyone ever asked you if you are happy? Cause i know I am, and i also know that i am lying. How can one be happy with all the classroom politics and taxing lifestyle where the pace is so often too fast for one to keep up? Would studying or perhaps, playing, satisfy your greed for happiness? I have no answer for that because everything that you see here, my enquiring reader, are just thoughts of a dense and dim boy. It seems almost as if it would be an honour to bequeath these thoughts to ANYONE who is willing to read.

Last question, am I needed, by anyone at all? This is not a philosophical question where one would come up with all the theories that "you are here for a purpose, to bring love and hope to- whatnots". It's a rigid question where the answers are merely a yes or a no. Yes pointing to someone who wants me and No which consequences i don't want to know.

Everyday presents a plethora of emotions, positive and negative, engaged in an epic war between the two. On lousy days, negative emotions wins and I would pray for rainfall, cool and soothing dark skies to take comfort in whereas on better days, I would smile and be glad that I am such. Typical of an "emo" teenager? Something that you would see on a daily-basis?

It's up to the reader to think or forget. I'm supposed to be studying history right now, but i guess, there's no need for that anymore for I am history, living and breathing it every moment.

2010-05-07T22:27:00.002+08:00

The start of the mid years examination does little to relieve myself from stress. Been trying to look for someone who i can share my problems and to confide in. So far, I've been utterly unsuccessful. Be it someone older than me or just a mere classmate, an acquaintant or a stranger, as long as i am able to feel comfortable in their presence, that's good enough. People who I've tried to talk to individually, recently, seem to be of little or no comfort at all. Some cannot seem to lend a listening ear, others start allowing their attention to stray.

I'm going to try the councillor soon. I wonder if she's any better. Recent problems are mind-boggling yet not serious enough to actually get me off course ( studying ). Whenever i try to concentrate on something else, topics that i do not want to think of would just fight for their share of my attention, suppressing that part is somewhat simple but doing that for long requires real concentration. Been reading indiscrimintately despite the fact that the mid years are only a matter of days away. Coffee and tea at a quiet shop on a stormy afternoon seem to be more appealing then studying all day at MacDonalds.

How painful.

I can't think of anything else to describe my situation without leaking traces of what the problem actually is. Reasons for keeping mum and being very vague with my words are mostly because this is a public platform and anyone who would like to read this blog is free to do so; Thus, watering down the content seem to be a wise decision. It's quite a pity that there aren't many friends that you can really depend on in school, surprisingly all of the older dunmanites seem to be more warm and friendly. Take lenny for example, some teachers too, not to forget my recently graduated seniors. All of which appears to be way more trustworthy/dependable/stable as compared to the other characters in school.

Desperate attempts to try and improve language abilities as well as my favourite subjects are going alright and I hope that by the start of prelims, i would be able to rightfully earn my A without any discrepency ( people do question the results that others get ).

Oh well, now that's the end of another random post. I know my sentence are all over the place and they don't link within the paragraph so it doesn't seem as if it make sense at all. I'm too lazy to organise them anyway, it's a blog post.

2010-05-04T20:17:00.002+08:00

In a dilemma again. Would it be for me to choose?

Things seem so grim yet I feel that there's hope. I've no idea what's going on in my life right now. So many things changed in an instance; the rapid change have left me bewildered and confused. I don't know what is going on in my life anymore. Old episodes are repeating itself and there is no way I would want to relive that trauma. The possibility of an unhappy boy returning is rather high.

Matters that I've once thought was simple and plain have developed into something more convoluted and sinuous, to the extent that I would encounter a myriad of difficulties tackling it. With exams usurping more than 10hours a day, it's no wonder why I'm in such a mess. Praying that an external factor would just come along and save me from this horror.

Councilor maybe? I don't know. But what I do know is that if no one comes to my rescue. I would just continue to sink further into my deep well of melancholy. Angst just fills me up to the brim.

Appearance versus reality, what you see may not be what is true. As much as i would like to take things at face value and pretend that there is absolutely nothing wrong, it cannot be done!

2010-04-18T00:03:00.002+08:00

Then again, I never did knew myself anyway.

I've realised that many things have change since the time where I did some soul-searching. I realised how easy it is for me to delude myself into thinking that I am something that I'm not. And I realised that no matter how hard i seek, I know that I'll never be able to truly understand myself; It's as if there's a ubiquitous fog is blanketed over me, making it feel like it's a convoluted and sinous labyrinth. A thought process that never fails to intrigue me and throw me into a state of disruptive dilemma.

Sometimes, I feel that there's a need. A need to extricate my soul from my body, and observe the surroundings, the people that I interact with; The expressions on my countenance whenever a disappointing answer lands an impact in my face and even my behavioural patterns which widely seem to be erratic.

When the time comes, I won't know how to lie to myself and euphemise whatever that I am about to bestow upon the enquiring. My heart sank, together with an immense load of proliferated thoughts streaming and clogging, almost suffocating, when i saw that notification.

I don't know how to comfort myself.

2010-04-15T21:33:00.002+08:00

There are many things that i want to do; I want a high definition camera where i can snap pictures that represented an evocation of what i feel at any precise moment in time. I want to enjoy and savour a cup of latte with the sunset being the sole winner of my attention, to perform on a prestigious stage with no audience to criticise whatever i do. There are many a time that things such as these slipped through my fingers and shackle me in the abysmal pit of regret.

On the otherhand, there are also many things that i do not want. Ever heard of the phrase, being alone in a crowd? Ever thought of how it may affect one's personal well-being? Picture this. You stream down a bustling crowd, sliding and squeezing at every turn, occasionally knocking into some brawny figure standing in the way. You see your friend and decided to join them in the longest wait of your life. They ignore your presence. You attempted to talk to people that you are acquainted with but they don't seem to be aware that your desperate cry for attention was meant for them to hear and respond. Your voice was drowned by the massive crowd. Like a faceless identity in a sea of faces, no one cares about you, much less stop to talk to you. You turn around and patiently wait in a corner whilst people without tact bug you with words in false concern. You take comfort in that, but deep down you know; you know that people only notice you under 2 conditions - when you have a really grim countenance or when you are a leader of some sort.

To top that, the pain in your grumbling stomach was akin to having concentrated acid poured down your throat. You're too hungry to raise any objections and besides, it's basic courtesy to wait for the rest in the group. But wait. You have no idea how long the wait is. Your sour expression is drawing a lot of unwanted attention and all you want to do is to cower in a corner, play possum until the group is ready to take their leave. So, what do you do?

Keep quiet, take a look around and stay still?

Lonely is the wandering soul,

So lost, so low, so cold.

Often blinded from its vision,

Hardly carrying out its mission.

Jaded is the wandering soul,

Straying from the ghoul.

The one that eats,

Dreams that it deems fit.

Restless is the wandering soul,

So tired and wasted from it's daily role.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This poem is not complete. There is no meaning in completion. What's funny is that it was written before the events of 14April 2010. Foreshadowing? Coincidence? I don't know.

Once again, I would like to make a note here, for people who neglect and abandon others in a moment of their joy, merriment if fine, so long as everyone is happy with radiant faces beaming in the crowd, not sullen and lonely souls straying away like a hermit towards society.

Wed : 14/04/2010

2010-04-12T22:46:00.003+08:00

If I've never met you, I wouldn't like you.

If I've never liked you, I wouldn't love you.

If I've never loved you, I wouldn't miss you.

But I did, I do and I will.

Unique and special, that's who you are,

God's masterpiece,

Perfectly made and fashioned for me,

Alone.

I'm not in love or anything on that lines, just felt that it's something meaningful, and that it actually makes an impact on me. Well, just something for the humans to savour before hitting the sack.

2010-04-12T18:45:00.003+08:00

Let's just say that I'm putting on some weight and it's high time I start sweating out on the court again. Panting after 15mins of skipping rope is a sure sign that I've not been working out much, although i know it's quite a precendent for me to laze around no matter the conditions. The juniors' skills are on a rapid amelioration, too fast for me to keep up. It's pretty clear by now that any sec 3 who is still unable to beat me is lacking behind the normal standards.

Chemistry practical today hasn't been the best I've had, with blatant mistakes marring every image that i strive to create infront of the examiner. I can't believe that it slipped my mind; Even the most simple task of reading off a thermometer could go wrong! Well besides that mundane exercise, the rest of the day ran rather smoothly. I had my first chemistry lesson with a single snide remark from the teacher.

The inspiration speech during assembly in class didn't appeal to me at all. It just felt like someone's been boasting about all his achievements and telling the audience that he is not; that he is trying to portray the idea that his achievements did not come without effort. It's quite clear, of course. Who on earth gets things without effort. It's like emphasising on a theme that everyone is already familiar with so that the accentuation would have an impact on his audience. Too bad singaporeans are all too aquainted with such pompous and vociferous boasting.

2010-04-10T22:11:00.002+08:00

Saturday night, nothing to do, really.

I guess the only real main highlight of the day is the night performance, the other activities are not worth mentioning. The performance was rather engaging ( minus the fact that the MCs were horrible ) I swear i could list out a dozen mistakes that they've made. Failing to introduce the sequel-performance in a dynamic way, horrendous tone and articulation, etc. Felt as though i was watching a burlesque performance between 2 clowns.

As much as I would like to stay for the entire performance, my stomach prevented me from doing so. It felt like 10mol/dm³ of concentrated acid was poured down my stomach, you know, that type of feeling that would make you grimace in agony and pain. Couldn't find an opportunity to slip out without a fiasco. Thank god, the 15-minute interval provided the opportune chance for me to take my leave.

Well, church tomorrow, Yu xian's coming. :D

2010-04-09T20:18:00.004+08:00

Sibling rivary is a trivial yet annoying matter. I swear I can't live one day in my house without encountering a conflict with my sister. Always screaming and arguing, often so pretentious and obsequent. An angel before the eyes of my parents, the most demonic devil when it comes to anything else. Sometimes I just wish that she would disappear, never to materialise before me ever again, at least until she gets a brain and grow a little more mature.

I abhor arguements with her; it doesn't make any sense at all. But when she goes overboard and inteferes with my daily activities, that becomes a prominent reason for me to start arguing for my rights. Besides when it comes to an arguement, I cannot comprehend why parents tend to support the weaker party even though she obviously does not make sense at all. Maybe it appears that I'm being oppressive, or maybe I portray myself as an aggressive person.

I'll never know and I never want to know. What's in other's minds shall remain there, just so long they keep out of my tracks.

God-darn annoying sister.

Sometimes, I wished I could fall into the arms of morpheus, and wake up with all my problems gone.

2010-04-08T21:23:00.002+08:00

Well, Let's just make a note right here since there are no other ways to pen my thoughts; Writing it down would be ridiculous for I hardly even keep notes that teachers give anyway and putting them into my phone would be too risky.

Months have past since i last wrote on this blog, and just when it seems as though the inspiration have ran dry, another candle is lit within me; I don't know if it's the doing of someone above, or is it a fraction of my own imagination but I feel this sudden urge to write, to express myself and to elucidate the myriad of botheration i my life.

I never had time in my life. I'm always rushing and always clearing up the debris of my past undertakings at the last minute. People call this procastination, I call this maximising my time. Today, things had taken a turn for the worst; I knew this would happen but there's no other option. Problems often occur when you least expect it. The continuous onslaught of stressing school work appears to be a prominent and significant hindrance in my daily life. Realising that I've been lagging far behind everyone else brings me little or no comfort at all.

Along with all the other new elements in my life, the summary of everything spells nothing but immense and overwhelming. Tabletennis practises have cleared up my entire January, Debate took over June and March, and now, April seems awfully bleak because nothing seem to be able to start the momentum. Adjudicating is awesome and I really want to do it; Church activites are appealing and it draws me to it too. I have to juggle my time but I have no idea how I can do it!

Apart from all the depressing and miserable problems that pop up everytime I contemplate the matters of my life, I've been enjoying my life. Suffice to say that I'm enjoying it a little too much! Time to change this horrendous habit of mine.

Now on to the random stuffs! I want to start a photo journal, a late night study group and an active writing habit. It's going to be hard but I've got to give it a try. Let see if this works out.

2009-08-17T20:59:00.000+08:00

It has been quite awhile since I last posted. so updating on current events that have taken place. To start off, I wasn't quite please with my lit results. Was expecting to get something higher, but oh well.

Anyway, life hasn't been interesting lately. Accomplished an amazing feat, like literally doing homework from 11am in the morning till 3am the next day. And guess what? I'm still not done. Wtf. Apart from that, I've just join a methodist church, pantecostal and found the sessions rather inspiring and motivating. No more free thinker for me. Maybe it's just me, but life seems to be getting better ever since I joined the holy place. They had this talk that discourage gambling and things. Rather well prepared with the presentation slides and ably put together speech. Best of all, it isn't anyone great or anythig that's doing the speech, it was just a cell group leader. Amazing how God gives people the courage to talk in front of the mass talk. And yes, I'm officially a proud christian!

School has been mundane as usual. It's getting harder to face up to reality and I'd rather numb myself than see things that I don't wanna see, today for example. Seen it happen, wasn't too happy about it but brush it off with a "tsk". The tests and stuff were really irritating and are scheduled at an utterly wrong time. Monday is NOT and should NEVER be a test day because it's supposed to be slacker day, before we all get slaughtered by tuesdays, wednesdays and thursdays. Fridays are fine, cause their the signal that tells me that I have a weekend to look forward to( or maybe I dod't, sometimes) ._.

Maths test was fine except the first question, which had me doubting my own answer because of a bloody statement in it. Other than that, I could get full marks if there's no careless mistakes. For English, which i so unfortunately did not take last week, I wrote nearly 800 words ( No wonder it took 50mins!) I never did thought 6 points could amount to that much words or maybe I'm just naggy and a total story teller. Lol.

Nicole's telling me about her day at school and I think's she's totally freaked out. She's darn paranoid with the way people look at her nowadays.

That's more or less everything for today. As everyone know, homework comes first. Therefore, I shall run along now and suffocate myself in books now. Lol.

2009-08-05T21:34:00.000+08:00

Down with a Flu, had 3 days mc, what else? Sitting at home in front of the computer. School was boring, but home is worst, especially when no one ever pays social visits. Homework are piling by the day. Pages of the textbook are flipping and turning so rapidly that there's no time to pause. It seems like no one's really willing to help another at their own expenses. Dang.

Life is pathetically mundane.

There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.

2009-08-03T21:30:00.000+08:00

The leisure and relaxation seems to come to a sudden halt. The load of homework and studying is taking a toll of my emotional health as well as my physical health. Who wouldn't feel the burden and weight? If you don't, you're super human. Either that or your a genius.

Once again, here bitching about teachers. One that called my parents for no apparent reason and being extremely crude with words, my parents weren't spared anything. Not only that, she went on to informing Mr Tang which in terms, called up to have a "personal conversation" which did not felt the least bit comfortable. Well, it certainly did top the mental burden and stress which I'm currently undergoing, not to mention causing a swirl of confusion in my head, leaving me perplexed and stumped. Nonetheless, Tuesday tomorrow. Currently preparing to rot in hell for 1 and a half hours. Listening to her talk is worst than taking a viking ship up and down 30 times continueously. It only manages to make me feel like I'm on a roller coaster ride, not knowing when to stop for a breather. Because every moment and second in her presence is like, inhaling carbon monoxide and equavilant to having 10mols of sulfuric acid poured on my skin. Bloody Chemistry. I wished it never had existed, at least if she was teaching 3B.

Another matter of hypocrisy and badmouthing incident caught my eye. With the accused insulting my intellectual prowess as well as being so bitterly in digust of my behaviour. I shan't name any names here. It just so happened that I found out about it and decided to put them into words. So lesson to be learnt here, if you're gonna slaughter someone with your verbal tongue lashing, do it in a way that your tracks would be covered well enough so that others may not by accident discover traces of your misdeed. That certain someone is really going to have it bad, I'll laugh till the cows come home if he happens to do something ironical. At that moment, I'll be too hysterically laughing at him that I won't have time to bother about anything else.

Back again to being really cynical about people. It's as though everyone is bound to use others for their own personally and selfish reasons. To say, I don't belong to any clique, nor especially close to anyone and not forgeting that I'm no longer property of anyone else. The advantage of being alone is that you observe; observe every strange movement and dumb moments in people's life that they so desperately try to hide. For example, you walk all the way to the bus stop, and then suddenly realised that you've left something which you require to complete a task and ended up walking all the way back to class. All these when you are alone without anyone around to talk/explain your eccentric behaviour. You find yourself really stupid and question yourself what caused you to omit that bit of precedent before going home. You see, the people around you are not to be trusted. They abandon you in times of need and flock to you the minute they know you're back on track.

Anyways, I've been guilty of thinking too much again. Letting my thoughts wander is NOT a good thing. Something too abstract even for me to tackle.
Being really sadistic lately, drawings of people dying, gothic and dark images which is associated with unhappiness. Writing things like "Hit it, blow it, snap it, cut it, slam it, break it."

"Hit the button. Pierce it through, it will feel much better."

2009-07-29T19:47:00.000+08:00

God Damn it! I can't believe I dreamt of Suicide!!

Oh dear. According to Freudian theory, it means that I've decided to give up on something. Something really important and real in me. It's a true desire in me which cannot be repressed even if i consciously want to.

Hate to take this.

2009-07-28T15:51:00.000+08:00

It seems like a massive amount of events have just engulfed me leaving not a single minute for a breather. Firstly it was the Oral test, then the Wuhan buddies that had me fondling upon past memories as well as the bloody bio test. Life in school appears to be back to normal, with everyone behaving as for normal and I no longer take note of things that used to bother me. On my way back to integrating back into the mainstream of society. However it would be different this time around. No longer enamoured of lust and guilt, I can see things more vividly and abjudicate much better than i used to. It's over now. A relationship of 3 years as well as friendship, a thing of the past.

At least i know now what means to me more =D. Friends who stick by you.

Anyways, Oral was a string of insane brain terrorism. Thinking of the Oral was weird and strange, with the idea that it would be an ORDINARY conversation with the teacher. HOWEVER, turns out that the oral teacher is the HOD of english. The looks of her already sent me of reeling to the back of the room. Imagine staring at her right in the face and deliver a rhetoric speech. The time of reckoning was when i sat before her, preparing to read. The passage was simple enough as the only test was the names that was present in the passage. Then it was the Picture conversation. Oh god, I spoke incoherantly and blabbered my way through, holding that thought that I'm gonna fail it terribly. Conversation was mere crapping and smoking my way throught.

Wuhan Buddies! I've got Bo han, somehow bearing a stark resemblance with Zhen Yu. Spent the first day introducing and understanding each other better. It was horrendous articulation from me though, barely conveying a single sentence perfectly. Anyway, he was a great help, doing my chinese homework for me.[I'm sorry, that's how the mind of Jun Ming works]. Can't help but notice the difference in height ._. only to ask and feel disappointed all over again. Damn!

Bio test was crap. I didn't have to take the paper to know that I'm gonna fail anyway. Well at least there was the consolation prize of not getting last in class for chemistry again. Well, just rejoice over my math results even though I don't feel any meaning in doing maths anymore. Somehow, it have became a mean of numbing myself, like an immunity.

Lastly, a note to everyone reading this:

Love at this age, is merely a delusion,
an alternate path to studying and passing,
continueing it wouldn't lead to desirable consequences if sank too deep.
I was fooled once, and I'm definately not plunging into it again,
not at least till I finished University.
Maybe I'll just pick one up while backpacking.

For the people reading this, I'm sure you know who I'm refering to. =D

2009-07-23T22:45:00.001+08:00

Shut up. I'm moving on....

2009-07-23T22:19:00.002+08:00

I wish. I had a older brother. A friend perhaps, someone that could make me feel inferior to, and subdued to comply and listen to what he says. Someone who could make me feel comfortable and warm to hold a conversation. To dominate the whole thing out of my mouth.

I wished. There was someone I would meet that is hopefully, kind and compassionate, like a superior being yet undoubtedly freed from malicious and vile thoughts. I want to look up to an older brother, to aspire and dream of being so capable.

There's the world and the people and also nature. I love the world. I hate the people. And have mixed feelings about nature althought it's beauty is never undermined. Not to forget. I'm pathetic. That's how I picture myself. It's so meaningless to stare at the skies and "blank" and it's also getting horrendously arid to think of it philosophically even though genius and wise old men do that almost everyday. I wonder why. Why things never turns out the way you wish for it to happen. Almost as if it's organised chaos. Like the irony in oxy-morons.

Not to forget. I'm happy. So happy that I can cry to show how euphoric I am. Thursday is over. The uprise of the sun brings new hope. But not on thursdays. The only thing the sun represents on thursdays is black awful and distinct stench of unhappiness. I said my emotions are not interfering, but i forgot. There's one emotion that I cannot suppress. And that's nostalgia.

The ghost of my past. Sometimes, I rather it stay a million light year away and sometimes, I wish i could relive the moment. And that certain thought would enable it to haunt me forever.

I found a new life. Reborned and untouched. I'm tossing my past away but also killing myself in it, drowning all the screams and anger that's attached to it.

Goodbye. Forever.

2009-07-20T21:43:00.002+08:00

A mere week has past and there're so many matters of greay magnitude to attend to.'I've been very true to myself and responsible to the others however, lady luck never shines upon me. Everything that I've wanted went wrong. First, it was just friendship and now, its the girl of my dreams. I guess it's the end of a 3 year courtship, it was time to love, woo and have fun. But now, the times all seem appalling.

I loved her. She loved me. But it's all changing now. It wasn't me that initiated the break up.

My life is going down the drain. I don't know how long I can keep up with this act, and I don't even know why I'm doing this. I hate double faced people but what the hell am I doing? I've done so much hypocrisy in a day! Debbie saw right through it but I shot her down. I wanted to be alone. I refuse to crumble to this fate, the pain and suffering, All that I've done, I regretted it, to the great extent that I hate myself for doing so.

Smacking people in table tennis and focusing my mind on mind-boggling activities seems like a terrific way to numb everything, suppress the feelings and emotions that are not needed anymore. I cannot believe how impossible it seems to give up and forget the whole incident, it's been 3 days and it's everything my minds has time to think of, it wanders where it's not suppose to be and it's bugging me, real bad. I sweat in the middle of the night, sitting in an air con room and even watching the TV. Anything that's not mundane and is able to capture my attention even for a mere 30mins.

I've ran out of ideas. I read the horoscopes and thought it was referring to someone else but in actual fact, it all refers to her and her alone. I've been spending too much time dwelling in self-pity that I've neglected those around me. Cliques suddenly seem to distant and being a hermit glimmers and shines before my very eyes. It's always the introverts and individualists that are the strong and independent people. Being the non-conformists is not a bad thing, but it feels horrendously awful. KNowing that it's always the non-conformists that makes things out of nothing seems to comfort me a little but question is, how many are actually able to do so? Sometimes, I wish I wasn't even born, so as to be immune to the pains and suffering in life.

What friends do I have? The people around me are just figures that come and go, like shadows in the night in the presence of a lamp post. It's like I'm utterly invisible to those people.

Stupid stupid retarded moron, how could this happen? Why did I even let it happen? I feel like I've lost control of my life. What ever happens around me is not for me to decide. How I envy those dictators, forceful and commanding. For a moment, I'm thinking of Stalin and Hitler, how and why did they manipulate everyone else just for their own benefits. Maybe I should do the same. I know I'm perfectly capable of doing so, but moral values restrain me from committing such diabolical acts.

I thought society is the entrance of the lion's den but 9 years into education, I realised, the second you enter the education stream, you are already included in the mad rush for "power" ( Popularity in this case, how unfortunately referring to a certain person ). The popular triumphs and the outcasts despairs. It's like politics, but a littler milder.

Checking my horoscope which is outrageously scary today,

"You pride yourself on your ability to make independent decisions. Today, however, you may be more emotionally hooked than you care to admit, for the Moon in your sign can strongly influence your heart. Even if you try to show others how cool you are by remaining flexible, your true desires will still be apparent. Don't try to hide your real feelings; you are more likeable when you reveal your human vulnerabilities."

To cut to the chase, be yourself but sadly, I can't achieve that. I'm really falling into the depths of the abyss, the dark oblivion.

2009-07-17T20:03:00.002+08:00

Ha. Praise the spree of homework that I'm on to now. Well, the estimated time is about 3-4 day's job. It's time to slog my hearts out, sweat out free and redeem myself in the eyes of the teachers. I'm really setting a bad precedent by not doing so much homework and accumilating it up into a pile. What's worst, is that im at the mercy of the demonic teachers. Lol. Doing homework isn't a bad thing anyway; at least it kills my meaningless time.

I recently realised, after my great eye opener, who are the people whom are merely "good times" friends, and who are loyal, loquacious and amiable characters. Sorta identified and objectified them, knowing that my i don't really have an excellent reputation in school. But even without anyone telling me, I can really accurately guess my traits anyway. Loud, Vociferous, Sarcastic, Reckless, very friend-selective, and so on.

Friday wasn't so bad afterall. It's amazing that my mind didn't drift and wander during class today. ( Normally, it would think of alot of crap + philosophical rubish and sometimes topics that no one would even encounter in a million years of contemplation) So the next time anyone catch me dreaming in class ( Sleeping is an entirely different thing ), you know what im doing. The 3 Sciences proceded as normal and the unmitigated lesson was a bore. Standing throughout Bio lesson, admiring the fact that miss teong is STILL shorter than me, yeah i know it ain't something to be proud of but, AT LEAST i'm taller then someone!

Another interesting event that happened is that Heng Yi was caught by Mr Bean for playing with so much vigour in class. Supposedly "sabo-ed" by his classmates. lol

Anyway, crash the whole story. Another mundane day. And YES! After everything, I'm gonna take a break and organise some sort of party. LOL

2009-07-16T21:21:00.003+08:00

If there's one thing that Mrs Ang had thought me really well, that would be teaching me not to cast pearls to swines. What I'm doing now, is wasting precious time and effort to win back the respect that i want but in the process, i lost respect for that particular matter instead. It felt as though i had done everything i could in the world and finally, it ended so abruptly. I finally know what i want and what i wished for so much in my lifetime. It's quality time and sincerity; without these, i really don't know what friends are for. I've wasted time.

And thanks alot guys, it's time to move on and give up on false hopes. Maybe its fate, maybe it was coerced, but i believe, what's not meant to be is not meant to be, no matter how you false-fit it into the picture. I knew it wasn't a wrong choice inviting you guys. That was really a load of useful stuff, and Chris, thank god it wasn't "you suck" =D lol. Well, unexpectedly, today is this day of reckoning, cause it unveiled many things that i was unaware of and was not hoping to see. Call this an irony or whatever it should be, but even though i know things are going in the wrong direction but i still wished i didn't see what i saw today.

The first of the horrendous day began with the anouncement that Lit was off for the day( Yeah, it wasn't the Bio practical which i so bloody dreaded, it's not that bad after all ). I anticipated that it would be cool to have a new teacher, and was prepared to skip 1 maths lesson just to attend the introduction. Turned out to be a wet blanket. Firstly, I did not do maths homework because of the fact that i had the mindset of "no maths lesson". Secondly, she replaced the undisputedly best literature teacher whom i so dearly admired. To top that, the cancellation was a last minute decision.

Fuming mad at her making such a tragic impression on the first day. God damn.

Next it was, maths. Yongjie O yongjie.
I played possum today, just to see what uninteresting event would take place. I allowed my emotions to fall flat and dismissed every trace of undesirable body language signs i pick up. I'm really sorry but these things can't exactly be absolutely suppressed ><. Got stood up, even when i took my time and went home to have a shower, was not informed of the time adjustment, my presence was entirely ignored even when i was juxtapose to yongjie's block. That was when i realised that his recognition of me didn't weight anything anymore, if it was a month ago, I would have done something about it. The title of a "contemporary best friend" sure lives up to its name, and i was right about labelling it that way. It was only contemporary.

If i didn't bury my emotions, i would have flared up and blown everything up with a fiery tirade already. Thank god.

Social welfare have been on an amelioration with a gradual gradient. Starting to mix around more often and go beyond my comfort zones to chat with total acquaintant. Emotional unrest, loneliness, relation mishaps and conflicts. In life, experience it.

Sorry if anyone feels demoralised or demeaned in this entry, especially yong jie, for expressing my discontent.

2009-07-15T15:52:00.002+08:00

Days in class are dwindling; everyday that ends takes a step closer to an exam. The time period spent in class are no longer as meaningful as that of the past, for now, everything seems like a drag and all that can go wrong will go wrong. Sometimes, i feel like moving the clock, make it go faster, or even backwards, either way would be fine, as long as i'm not here anymore. What's the point if no one befriends and chat? I'd rather spend my whole life working and slogging my hearts out than live a life of solitude. People say, poverty is a death cycle, i beg to differ. It's solitude and melancholy.

What a coincidence to meet some familiar faces however, it didn't really seemed like a pleasant surprise anymore, more of a trigger for awkwardness. The incessant buggy feeling remains.

Nonetheless, keeping calm, attempted a remedy which so unfortunately failed thanks to the objection from my muscles and lips which would stop at nothing to prevent me from doing anything stupid. Well to say, there've never been any kind and heartwarming souls around anyway. Great example of the quotation, significantly demeaning and denigratory as well, "All humans are born vile and indifferent." which remains very true till this day. I'd like to show what i'm capable of putting together, though still emotionally unstable.

And lastly, I don't want any holding back on this page and thus, I believe that everyone reading would be sure only who can view this. Namely:
Chris
Jun Han
Xi En
Pearl
Yong Jie
Yang Fan

All of which had made an impact in my life in one way or another, at one point of time. So anything would be fine here, articulate your thoughts vividly and coherantly, make your thoughts be known because I certainly would.

2009-07-14T20:09:00.004+08:00

It's been a long time since i set my words into the web, so i'd like to make a disclaimer which i should have made a long time ago. As of today, this blog shan't link anyone nor be bound by anything; for this statement made, I don't expect anything from anyone anywhere anymore. There's no need to recognise anything.

I start out once again, reiterating my thoughts in pixels on the screen before me, serving as a thought-organiser. I need it, very much. My mind resembles a vortex, one that's ever spinning and would stop at nothing to obtain absolute obiteration but deep in the vortex, there's hope. There's a spot that remains calm through the rampage across the surface. Everything that has happened, be it at school, at home, or anyway that i lay foot on, has gone bad and turned rotten. It's like a jinx that has no home to return to, wandering, and wandering. A myriad of botheration engulfs me, never failing to leave me distressed and depressed. Problems that i know are beyond my abilities and can neverbe solved by me alone.

On the 13 of July, the feelings of solitude, that have been ameliorating since the start of the year, reached the zenith. It really bothered me that no one really cares. The apathy that's been revolving around the class, I can't believe i failed to notice it. People with double faces, emotions that are false-fitted upon theirs. There's was no clique to begin with, no bonds of friendship, that's what made it so easy to walk away from. Once,I wondered, if i'd suddenly disappear one day, would anyone realise? If i stood in front of the class, and shout, what will people think? If i'd done something that no one would do, will anyone acknowledge what i've accomplished? Or am I just the ordinary, puny, insignificant outcast that does not make a difference be my presence there or not?

Everything was a fake to begin with. I wished i was still a kid. So innocent and undiscerning. Be lied to and take in every piece of lie that's passed out. I wished, I wasn't so sensitive, so sensitive to pick up every sign that the body language give out. I hoped to be brainwashed, to think that everyone is trustworthy. I didn't chose to be so cynical. And lastly, I wished i wasn't so sarcastic, to disregard the world tasked to me, because, it cost me.. alot.

It wasn't my way of expressing my displeasure nor my intention to display a displeased face. Contemplation always lead me to think that I'm at odds against the world and me, being left behind because i was being manipulated, like a puppet. After hours, when left wandering about aimlessly in school, it made me pause to explore the depths of my brains. No one is there when i needed comfort, no one was there to help me sort out my thoughts properly and thus, I roamed. Passing the doors of 2E, the benches at the 3rd level and lastly, 1D, which i so dearly miss. When inhabitant, are not as manipulative.

It felt as though the whole world's business had come to a stop, like a lonely screenshow featuring me and only me, praying fervently that it doesn't embrace me with the bitter anguish. Like being abandoned and having no one to depend on. Giving up seemed so appealing and bright, like picking the easiest way out is simply out of the building, but having the courage to do it is another matter. I really missed the innocent era. Sincerely deplored the present state of mortality I'm in this very second.

There are words that I want to say, say it out loud with vigour, strength and life. Throwing, projecting and articulating them so confidently, no one would miss a single word i say.
" This is a town of hypocrisy. Loneliness. Helplessness. And Last but not least, Selfishness. Even the most united of class seems like the most utter disgust. " Would anyone still go through the pains to their own expense to be a friend?

I certainly would.

2009-05-29T13:23:00.003+08:00

Day by Day.

Hour after Hour.

Minutes past Minutes.

Seconds beat Seconds.

It takes many factors to contribute to the displeasure of another person..

I was wrong to listen to you,

I was wrong to care for you,

I was wrong to even look at you.

I was wrong to help you,

I was wrong to mingle around you,

I was wrong to even remember things associated with you.

Nothing was memorable, nothing was desirable and lastly, nothing was comprehensible.

It was a mistake from the very beginning since the time I've decided to befriended you.

I wonder..

How long does it take for someone with no initiative, literally oblivious to the surrounding and have no EQ to speak about to realise that something's amiss

2009-05-08T16:52:00.002+08:00

Idiot, Retards, Morons, Insensates, Pueriles, Jejune.

2009-05-04T17:46:00.002+08:00

Today, I've learnt a lesson.
Today, I've learnt that Jun Han is not a good guest
And Today, have been a awfully exhausting day.

Today, a bunch of people came to my house with the intention of playing dota till their heads screw off.
So today, I've failed to keep my house tidy and avoid the imminent rampage across my room.
Today, I've decided.

JUN HAN SHALL NOT TAKE A SINGLE STEP INTO MY HOUSE!

Well, whatever. Monday would still be tolerable compared to the other days in the week but best thing about this week, is that, Thursday( triple science day) would be used for the test! That's what I call utilising a badly put-together day. Ya, go ahead and be the hero. Love science for all I care.

Doesn't seem to care about my stuffs anymore. At the start of the year, made a hell lot of promises/ resolutions whatnot and now, I'm breaking everything now. It's a fact that no one can keep to resolutions for long before giving up. Sadly, I'm in the vast majority. Well, at least for sure I know Hoi Ki's doing great. The rest in class ain't having difficulty passing. While, I, still stuck in this horrendous pile of shit. Failing all 3 sciences, 1 MT and social studies(which I took painstaking efforts to study the day before).

No one seems to care anyway. Even if i do well, so what? It's just gonna fall straight back into the dumps weeks later when I lose that inspiration. Even the greatest source of energy is fading.

2009-04-28T19:18:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, You see better without your eyes; Hear better without your ears and Smell better without your nose. Life is unsatisfiable until you say it is satisfied

You'll never know what's installed for you not until you look back on your life and think " Why did he say that?" and ask yourself if what's done should have been done or not. Only after painstaking reminisces that people realise their folly.

Words spoke without much thought is generally processed without much effort. Words are sharper then projectiles and ought to be used with precautions. Once said, it cannot be retracted. That's what I've learnt. Damaged once done would leave scars and memories which would not be easily healed. It, again, would present another weapon, the blade of guilt.

What would you deem as wasting time? Spending your time playing the computer? Hanging out with friends till late at night? Or slouch in bed all day? Wasting or not, it's all determined by the person that uses the time. Whether or not its wasted, no one has the right to say, not even parents and teachers. If one thinks that he enjoyed the time and is contented with how it was spent, then its worth it. Who ever said playing computer games/hang out/slouch in bed is wasting time?

It's again the time of the year whereby people spend time burying their faces in books and receive nasty comments by vociferous parents. Just a reminder, do what you have to do. Don't over do things as it might have an adverse effect.

2009-04-27T16:45:00.002+08:00

This is getting more arid by the week. Well, every week is merely a repetition of the previous other then the lesson content, of which i had long gotten sick. I could not get the hang of Chemistry, nothing from the incoherent Bio periods as well as Physics. It's wishful thinking if i think i can smoke my way through this year without mugging for the exams. Thus, I've began the endless pursuit for knowledge ( though irrelevant to future life ) to achieve good grades. Started practising maths and it proved to be useful.

On to the draggy stuffs. Anticipation comes with a price - Time, and sometimes, with no returns. Everything that I've hoped and wish for, often destroyed in the hands of another. There's no comfirm gain and affirmative results or answer for anything, not even for science; What scientist have "proven" might not be true and could be just a hypothesis on their part. Some are simply too self-indulgent and have a vociferous way of expressing themselves. Lofty attitudes plays an essential role in judging and often the bone of contention. Oh how I abhor these traits. When expectation steps in, one wouldn't know how to accept disappointments. I've learnt my lesson. Not to expect, much less anticipate.

Mid years isn't gonna be anywhere near easy, with teachers being parsimonious with marks, putting our scripts in scrutiny of the stingy teachers.

2009-04-17T22:09:00.002+08:00

Well, continued from the previous post.

Hit the hotel by 7 and stayed there till 8 before heading down to the coffee shop adjacent to the hotel. Though the atmosphere wasn't really that great but the food was rather mediocre. We didn't want to head out anywhere is search of food, taking into account, we have an old lady and were lazy people, topped with exhaustion, who would want to? Enjoyed the nightly breeze as it was not really packed, chatted for quite sometime before we went back into the hotel. Couldn't contain the zeal in me, so I rushed towards the mahjong set and dragged my uncle and auntie into it. I didn't had any variety of chose, so I'll just have to make do.

It wasn't untill 11 that the other party came back. Apparently, they hadn't had their dinner and so out they went again. I was anticipating that they would come over and play with me, well at least entertain each other on a boring trip, but guess what? They sticked together and played in a room pervaded with smoke. Reluctantly went in to play with them but I could resist the urge to return to my smoke-free room after 20mins. The smoke was utterly choking and I constantly had my right sleeve to my nose obstructing the smoke particles from entering my trachea. Reckon that I can't last the day without having ample sleep, off to bed.

Day 3 was the most mundane of its sort. Slept till 11 before going through my daily routine and then by 12, I was mahjong-ing again. My uncle and aunt must have found me a pest. Incessantly bugging them to play mahjong, even though their mahjong lovers themselves, I still have that gut feeling. It was 2 and time to check out of the hotel. Managed to extend it to 2.30, thinking that the van would come by 3. And oh heavens, the van didn't, driving me up the walls, contemplating ways to get over the boredom. Thank god, there's a computer, WITH INTERNET, at the hotel's lobby but it required a 3ringgit charge for every 30mins. I paid 3 and used it till the van came ( 4.20 ). Got an extra 50minutes off. HAHA. Dramatically, the van's battery malfunctioned! Dang.

Set off at 5 for home. The ride was merely sleep, sleep and more sleep. Till the customs. Nothing worth mentioning happened at the passport check but the bag check! The officer asked me in a brusque tone if I had any sharp object, CDs or electronic object in my bag, being the all-so-junming attitude, reciprocated with a brusque tone and told him that I had my PSP in the lugguge. Well, apparently he wasn't paying any attention to me. He needed me to hold the PSP in front of his face before he decided to let me go.

Set off for home, got back at home nearly 9 and guess what? School the next day.

-10/4 - 12/4 , Port Dickson/Melacca Jount : Account

2009-04-15T18:56:00.002+08:00

The beginning of the trip was already a mood damper. Upon sight of the van that's suppose to take us to Port Dickson, I knew it wasn't going to be a pleasant journey, but rather a tedious and arduous one which had to be endured for a clean 6hours. I lugged my over sized luggage down to the pickup point and stored it in the van before proceeding on to claiming a seat. With my cousin at the backseat, I thought that it wouldn't be that bad after all though the subsequent events ultimately proved me wrong. An hour to the custom and 5hours after that all the way up to Port Dickson. Liaised with the rest in the van but couldn't constrict myself to a merely 5hours of sleep the day before, succumbing to fatigue and with my mouth wide open. Well, being any ordinary teenage, they just whipped out their phones and started taking snap shots like I'm an animal in the zoo.

As soon as we got there, we commence the search for our residence for the night. Unfortunately the whether ain't exactly that welcoming. Heavens crashed down with such vigour that it hinder our progress when getting our luggage of the van. The room turned out rather eye-soothing and well furnished apart from the dirty floor which, was later painstakingly swept clean by my uncle. The surroundings of the room were not really very appealling with the outer coating of the building stained with memories of the past. Apparantly, the group of 11 faced a debate : Weather to stay in the room or move to the hotel, juxaposed to the building. I remained in the room together with my grandma, uncle and aunty, hoping that we would get to stay in the room that night to have mahjong practical lesson (Yeah, that was partially the reason why I went there in the first place). The other half of the group went ahead without consulting us and booked 2 hotel rooms, expecting us to chip in as well. Avoiding an acrimonious skirmish, we complied and so the day went on. I had to stay in the room to finish my English work which was due on Monday. Well, it would be overly utopian to wish for no homework over the weekends.

Completed it in a couple of hours, that's when things start to get a little arid. I realised that I've spent the entire day in a Van and then a room and finally a hotel room, constantly facing four mundane walls. When the group came back, I was half-asleep and half-awake. Got woken up by the noise and couldn't sleep after that. Played "tai-ti" in the dead of the night, only resting at 2am in the morning.

Day 2 started off with another boring and slow van ride to Melacca, consuming 2hours of my precious life. Read a book called " The Simple Life", it was a Christian book which assentuated on the importance of living a simple life and how to achieve it, for example, give everything up and leave your fates in the hands of the lord. Pretty interesting, well any book which can hold my attention for more then 20minutes is already exceptionally good. Anyway, time passed quickly when I picked up that book. We went to unload the stuff in Straits Meridian, the hotel whereby rooms looked like the perfect atmosphere for a murder to take place. Headed off to Mahkota for some shopping but after some discussion, they decided to take the local bus instead of a taxi. Personally, I would have prefered taking a taxi in a foreign country where the routes are somewhat unfamilliar. It would have been okay if i were a traveller with no destination or particular.

Their bus was shaped like any ordinary Singapore bus except that there is only one exit/enterance at the head of the bus. They had a bus conductor which possessed a really horrendous attitude and a total turnoff. Pompous and officiously, asking for the bus payment in a rude and uncoath manner. Well, now looking back, the bus prices weren't much cheaper than that of the taxi. a trip from the hotel to Mahkota merely cost $12 ringgit whereas the bus trip cost us a total of $66 ringgit. Assuming that a taxi can fit 4 person, 3 taxis would have cost $36 and a 2way trip is only $72. A mere $6 difference, saving time, energy and embarassment at the same time.

Take the caucasian man on the bus. He didn't had much money on him as evident from his clothes and items which he was carrying, obviously a backpacker. He was drenched from head to toe but yet he have to stand in the bus, holding on to the bar on top of his head as tightly as possible. It was only then that I realised that their bar was not those handrailings which we can hold on to but rather only a straight bar of metal, illsuited for its purpose.

Brought 3 shirts and a pants which set me back at least $180 and purchased so much sweets that I could have swored, caused me a serious case of illness if i had finished it within a night. Ain't exactly zealous about shopping, therefore the frenzy ended with a haircut and then off the to hotel for more mahjong.

2009-03-28T22:25:00.002+08:00

It's musical, breathtaking, enchanting and yet, dull, draining and insipid at the same time.

It's great, tremendously enjoyable yet exhausting and dark all together.

At times, it drags you into the darkest of the abyss,

and at times, it lifts you to the highest of glories.

Stunning and gorgeous,

grateful and satisfied.

It hums a melodious tone and the mellifluous voices sing in response with a velleity to change.

It burst into a interminable wave of melancholy.

Life is worth reflecting on. Take your time to do it, so that you'll not rush past it.

" No its not difficult to tell,

maybe I'm attracted,

but that's the way you make me feel,

I wanna lead you,

lead you out of here

why can't you see

I wanna leave with you,

gotta take you home,

I can see it inside my head,

but if i leave with you

and i get you home,

baby, you gonna love what I'm gonna do when I'm on top of you.

when I'm on top of you. "

-Enrique Iglesias, On top of you

2009-03-24T20:00:00.003+08:00

Life is pathetically mundane.

Sometimes, I wished, there were no money in the world ; where everyone is equal and only work for food, fun and enjoyment. There will be no maths, no science, no everything, only life. Sometimes, I wished, life was like a whirlpool, where you swirl and swirl in the same area but never get bored ; nothing else would matter because you'll be so busy that you won't have the time to bother about anything else. And sometimes, we are able to roam free, across the seas, up the gradients of high mountains and enjoy the panoramic view.

There would be no sadness, no politics, no anger, hatred and competition. Earth would be a much better place where we behaved, unrestrain and free, happy and joyous. All sins would vanish from the face of Earth, and the Devil would never be able to step foot into the saved world for salvation settles. Pride, Envy, Lust, Wrath, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth. Obliterated and wipe out.

No one would bother fighting over anything for money, the root of all evils, is gone. Wouldn't it be a better place? Think of the adventure we could embark on. The mountain's tip piercing into the clouds, the gorges lurking with enigma and of course, the beauty of the human nature. Sides of a human that's never seen light surface unwittingly and darkness crumble.

Now, Kids live to study and adults to maintain the country's economical standards. Stress exists and pervades every atmosphere and people erupt in an acrimonious skirmish because of mere displeasure. Doubled faced creatures behaving hypocritically pollutes the blissful and innocent surrounding deeming it stained and plagued with dysphoria. Nothing goes in any direction that you want it to go and people around you sniggering behind your backs sparks an inevitable urge to confront them, bestowing upon them your magnificient fist.

It's amazing how complex the human brain is and the way it has an effect on the physical. Take me for example, whenever I'm experiencing dysphoria, I often think philosophically and stare at the stars at night. No matter what I'm dreaming about, it doesn't matter. I surge forward into time and ponder about the mystical things that could happen to me frequently forecasting my future aimlessly.

Idealistic and not materialistic? People would probably say that it's impossible and it's just wishful thinking. Well, it is. The world would never come to this state because humans are selfish ; so selfish as to work only for monetary gains and betray their conscience even if they have to. How contradicting don't you think? Humans were the one that created this great civilisation and will be the one that destroys it. Somethings are simply not avoidable, we'll just have to live with what we have, yes?

2009-03-20T14:46:00.002+08:00

You Are the Crown Chakra

You are truly enlightened. You are humble, unselfish, and without prejudices.

You are a humanitarian. You value justice, and you're doing your best to make the world a better place.

You are an ethical person. You strive to do the right thing and be good to people.

You are able to put your faith and trust in others. You have a lot of faith in humanity.

What Chakra Are You?

You Are 36% Emo

You're definitely not emo, but you do understand emo people a little. You are introspective, but not to the point of driving yourself crazy.

Are You Emo?

Your Sensitivity Score: 79%

You are a highly sensitive person. Pretty much everything effects you.

You are tuned into the vibe around you, and someone's bad mood can bring you down.

But you also easily share in someone's joy - whether you know them or not.

Are You Extremely Sensitive?

You Are 70% Grown Up, 30% Kid

Congratulations, you are definitely quite emotionally mature.

Although you have your moments of moodiness, you're usually stable and level headed.

So what if you're not perfect? You accept your faults and try to fix them.

People appreciate your reasoned and calm approach to life.

How Emotionally Mature Are You?

Your EQ is 160

Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.

Seriously though, your whole "Don't Worry, Be Happy" philosophy is really what defines emotional intelligence.

You're warm, open, and very optimistic. You know how to act appropriately, even if you don't feel like it.

You are a good communicator, and you have little difficulty with personal relationships - even when you're dealing with difficult people.

In general, you are successful, capable, together person. You get what you want out of life.

What's Your EQ (Emotional Intelligence Quotient)?

Your Thinking is Concrete and Sequential

You are precise, orderly, and realistic.

You tend to get to the point and get things done.

Difficult, detailed work is easy for you. You take things step by step.

Time limits aren't a problem for you either. You work well with deadlines.

What does drive you crazy is any sort of task that isn't precisely laid out.

You don't like anything to be ambiguous. You prefer to deal with the facts at hand.

What Kind of Thinker Are You?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Interpersonal Intelligence

You shine in your ability to relate to and understand others.

Good at seeing others' points of view, you get how people think and feel.

You have an uncanny ability to sense true feelings, intentions, and motivations.

A natural born leader, you are great at teaching and mediating conflict.

You would make a good counselor, salesperson, politician, or business person.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your IQ Is 130

Your Logical Intelligence is Exceptional

Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius

Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

You Communicate Clearly

You're the type of person who thinks before you talk. You speak in an ordered, insightful, and concise way.

You speak authoritatively and with conviction. If you take the time to say something, you stand behind it.

You only say what you need to. You believe that your words are strongest when they're not diluted.

When you have a lot to say, you map out your words ahead of time. You prefer to speak in bullet points.

What Kind of Communicator Are You?

You Can Definitely Spot a Liar

Maybe you have good instincts. Or maybe you just have a lot of experience with liars.

Either way, it's pretty hard for someone to pull a fast one on you. You're like a human lie detector.

Can You Spot a Liar?

You Communicate Like a Woman

You empathize, talk things out, and express your emotions freely.

You're a good listener, and you're non-judgmental with your advice.

Communication is how you connect with people.

You're always up for a long talk, no matter how difficult the subject matter is.

Do You Communicate Like a Man or a Woman?

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.

Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.

And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitude, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker.

What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions.

You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself.

Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.

People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

Your Vocabulary Score: A-

Congratulations on your multifarious vocabulary!

You must be quite an erudite person.

How's Your Vocabulary?

You Should Learn French

C'est super! You appreciate the finer things in life... wine, art, cheese, love affairs.

You are definitely a Parisian at heart. You just need your tongue to catch up...

What Language Should You Learn?

You are Agnostic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care.

For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine.

You rather focus on what you can control - your own life.

And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

tsktsk. I'm like laughing at some of the results. Some are really(when i say really, I mean really)true and others are purely ridiculous. Lol. About the totally sarcastic one, No! That's not true. ._. Bloody fuck! I think i'm starting to get addicted to quizes. Lol

2009-03-19T22:09:00.002+08:00

You Should Light a Coconut Candle

You are simple yet exotic. You are colorful, bold, and wild... but you're not picky or fussy.
In your group of friends, you are the fascinating one. You always have an amazing story to tell.

You're the type of person that no one ever forgets. You make a lasting impression.
You yearn to travel more and are always dreaming of your next adventure. You love expanding your horizons.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatscentcandleshouldyoulightquiz/">What Scent Candle Should You Light?

Your Animal is the Crane

Deep down, you are a very secretive person. You keep a lot to yourself.
You may seem friendly and outgoing, but it's not the full picture. You prefer your own quiet company.

You are a smart and talented person. You have an amazing set of skills.
You are also quite reflective and thoughtful. You have a unique spirituality that is always growing.

What's" Your Celtic Animal?

You Are Mind

If you dream it, then you can do it. You are very mentally sharp and strong.
You enjoy challenging yourself both at work and with studies. You love mastering difficult tasks.

You thrive in new environments, even stressful ones. You are able to study everything objectively.
You have a upbeat attitude, and won't be deterred easily. You are open minded and optimistic about the future.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyoumindbodyorspiritquiz/">Are You Mind, Body, or Spirit?

You Are Rain Boots

You are a very playful and fun loving person. Nothing can slow you down.
You are dreamy, and you can find the romance in anything. The littlest things make you smile.

You are outgoing and friendly. You always find yourself talking to strangers.
You are optimistic about the world. Even when it's raining out, the sun is shining in your heart.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofbootsareyouquiz/">What Kind of Boots Are You?

You Are Jean Grey

Although your fate is often unknown, you always seem to survive (even after death).
Your mind is your greatest weapon, literally!

Powers: telepathy and telekinesis, the ability to project thoughts into the mind of others, communication with animals

http://www.blogthings.com/whichofthexmenareyouquiz/">Which of the X-Men Are You?

Your Personality Is Like Cocaine

You're dynamic, brilliant, and alluring to those who don't know you.
Hyper and full of energy, you're usually the last one to leave a party.
Sometimes your sharp mind gets the better of you... you're a bit paranoid!

At your best: You're confident, euphoric, and feel like you're on top of the world.

What people like about being around you: You're intense and overpowering.

What people dislike about being around you: You can be arrogant... and a bit of a jerk.

How addicted people get to you: Incredibly addictive. And hanging around with you isn't cheap!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdrugisyourpersonalitylikequiz/">What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion!
And chances are, you're currently in love.
You have a strong physical response to love...
And you are great at committing
(As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What's" Your Love Style?

Yeah, I know, I'm just feeling a little bored. Strangely, the quizes keep messing with my mind. LOL. But to say, I find the quizes true to quite a significant extent, amusing to see the results though, I might as well be in to this

2009-03-11T20:29:00.003+08:00

Common test sucks. You know why? Because of results. The ultimate guide to depicting a good student and a bad. Well, the reason why I'm writing this in the first place is because I refuse to believe that it's a good guide. Maybe I'm just academically weak but thats secondary. Weird feelings plague me this few days and it doesnt take a genius to decipher what it's all about. A maths test + Literature tomorrow and guess what? I'm still here penning down ( in this case, typing down ) my bloody worthless thoughts on this webby. How intelligent, I know.

Chinese as usual, sucked like the worst ever possible and imaginable way. People were going "die la die la, fail liao" and amazingly scored an A for it. Proves one thing for sure, I'm in a class where I can never get out of the bottom 10 positions. Months ago, I was still carefreely playing and bullshitting nonsensical stuff on my blog and now, stress! I take my words back. I've got to start soon or I'll just end up like secondary 1. History repeats.

Not saying that its a bad thing being like the old sec 1 self, but it really does carve an impact in my grades. Social studies, Chemistry and Biology are driving me up the wall. I feel like going up to the teacher and say, "Could you reiterate it in English?" ._. My knowledge of the subject is not even beyond the knowledge of a sec 2, in other words, it's basic. And reasons why?

[X]Gotten detention.
[ ] Gotten your phone taken away in class.
[ ] Gotten suspended.
[ ] Gotten caught chewing gum.
[ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test.

Total: 1

[X]Arrived late to class more than 5 times.
[X] Didn’t do homework over 5 times
[X]turned at least 3 projects late
[X]missed school cause u felt like it
[X]Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class.

Total: 5

[X] Got your mom / dad etc. to get you out of school.
[X] Texted people during class.
[X] Passed notes.
[X]threw stuff across the classroom
[X]Laughed at the teacher.

Total: 5

[ ] Pulled down the Fire Alarm.
[x] Went on Myspace, Facebook, Xanga, Msn etc. on the computer at school.
[x] Took Pictures during school hours.
[x] Called someone during School hours.
[x] Listened to an iPod , CD , etc... During class.

Total : 4

[ ]Threw something at the teacher
[x] Went outside the classroom without permission.
[x] Broke the dress code.
[x] Failed a subject
[x] Ate food during class.

Total : 4

[x] Gotten a call from school.
[ ] Couldn’t go on a field trip cause you behaved badly.
[x] Didn’t take your stuff to school.
[ ] Gotten a detention and didn't go.
[X]Stuck up your middle finger at a teacher when they were not looking.
[X] Cursed during class loud enough so the teacher could hear.

Total : 4

[ ]faked your parent's signature
[X] Slept in class.
[ ] Cursed at a teacher to their face.
[x] Copied homework.

Total : 2

Woot, 24 x 3 = 72. I've screwed up 72% of my teenage life. A maths tomorrow will be mindboggling, in addition to killing more of my brain cells in literature followed by straining my ears and processing information at godlike speed at the debate. Watch my day mess with me till I go nuts. Well, the only consolation for every other day is being able to sit in the same class as someone and feel appreciated by a certain special group and person.

Let just say, I'll be trying to catching up.

Trying.

2009-03-02T20:38:00.002+08:00

I must really congratulate myself for failing all my A maths test for this year. 3 months into the year and gosh! I could hardly survive. Screwing up my 2009 people!

Well, First day "Mr Lim" took over the class, as in officially, bloody fuck! Still used to calling him leonard ._. HOD of maths made a visit to our dear precious class. She wasn't really listening to the content of the lesson but rather just evaluating Mr Lim's performance in class. Okay, a normal pupil of class 3B would probably say this :

"Mr Lim is easy to get along with, easy to irritate and kind. He's great as a friend and casual peer."

Read in between the lines will ya?

He said he was nervous with her around. Found the lesson easy to grasp and yeah. Though the confidence might not last long but just let me bask in the light for a moment. Now, feeling sorry for Leonard, Mr Tang deliberately teach slowly as he knew there would definately be a substitude teacher to finish all his work. Life's never mundane with him around, to lighten up the mood. Haha. "Underpaid, overworked substitude teacher"

Ah whatever. Tabletennis was boring today, managed to get through it only to sprain both my right and left leg. Got crap from the rest man. Wanted to go home straight to rest but bloody A maths tuition had to pull me right back into academics. It's like attending something just for the sake of attending it. What's the bloody use?

Once again, if I pass my A maths, I shall squandering all my allowance for the week.

2009-02-24T19:08:00.001+08:00

I realised that you cannot make a person smart.

You cannot teach a person to be smart.

I am not smart, therefore, I cannot be taught to be smart.

I took the first step today.

It didn't last long, but it was extraordinary.

*Don't get me wrong, it has nothing to do with HER.

2009-02-19T19:26:00.002+08:00

Well, life is not going well for me AT ALL this year. Stupid things happen and caused misery to me. Good thing is that, at least no one in the class was like previous year. Got bloody pawn-ed by the tests and dang! There's still E maths and Lit test tomorrow, today's History test was shit, wrote it based on language and trying to argue my point rather then contextual and examples, though I attempted to add in some examples. As for normal, wrote a long piece of esssay and was so bloody sure I'm going to fail flat.

Other then brainwrecking tests there are also CCA problems, and then time constrain, and a whole list of problems which cannot be solved. OH SHIT! I left my bread in my table. NONONONONONONONONONONO! Fuck SHIT! Tabletennis sucked over night and all relations turn sour. The rules and regulations made during the last session was obviously directed to me. I'm the only one who asked if i could leave early for tuition on monday, there she said that no excuses for monday. Then, there's also the strange tasks CAPTAINS need to do._. Sickening things like keep the table, off the stupid fans, the lights, lock idiotic doors and so on. And Wow! How amazing, all that's done by me became credit for someone else.

Personally hate a certain teacher in school. I shan't mention her name for fear of tattletales, how fortunate don't you think? Oh and 2nd thing directed to me, the change of captains. Okay, here's the lamest thing, the first person who comes for training must have a rank. Nice try. Use some random guy as a scapegoat and pushing the blame to someone else. Obviously she's insinuating something, firstly, she likes the vc better, second, I always come at 3.30 and someone comes earlier then me. I have to leave early therefore that's another degrading factor. Bloody hell, I've got a life outside, I don't like being tied down by some strange commitment that was casted upon me. If she wants to get me off that badly, I'd say fine , I rather get involve in other things that engage with petty skirmish with someone so sarcastic and behaves like a hypocrite (my bad, she is one).

I raise the white flag man. Quit the bloody CCA, I'm starting to wonder what's gotten into me in 2007, why on Earth did I joined it in the first place. I should have joined guitar or badminton or debate or whatever available on that year. Why my current CCA? What upsets me the most is the indirect way of saying : "You're fired." If it really pains you that much, just tell me in the face, and not use some insensate competition for credits and thing while all the while I've been doing so much for the CCA. If she wants him that much, she can have him. I no longer care. Do what you want. I just want my point and leave me alone.

It's obvious who I'm talking about. If anyone, upon sight of this message, get's angry/ feel demoralised/ wants revenge/ looking for an acrimonious arguement. I'd say, this is the wrong place. This tirade is for those who know me well, knows how my brain functions and how normal human beings like it. You see the red X on your top right hand? click it. Or put your keyboard into use. Hit alt F4. Another alternative, is to look into your kitchen for a hammer. Slam it right into the screen. I wouldn't mind. Afterall, I did warn that my blog was not for immature kids who runs of to their moms complaining of unfair-ness in words. Hope she knock some sense into the idiots. This world was never fair to begin with. Lucifer, bless them.

Okay, now some would be encouraging me to crap it all out in front of her and things like, "kick ass" or something, but sadly, I would do something so uncultured. I rather leave things to the imbeciles to complete. May the best "man" win the "competition". And if you're still guessing, competition is the race to gain credit and not skills. Character building, that's the best that she could give. Don't tickle my laughing nerves. I'm shamelessly proud of my blunt rhetoric speech, so what can you do? It feels so much better getting everything off my chest.

Here comes debate tomorrow. Need some tips from the experts. I badly need to talk to someone. Scold someone real hard, blast it all out. God bless as I've already know the result. If I leave my position as Captain, I believe everyone knows the reason why. I need not spell it out so clearly yeah? Cause that would be an insult to the intelligence of NORMAL humans.

2009-02-16T20:33:00.004+08:00

Remember the time when I said time does not have a hold on me? Okay, now I'm seriously regretting what I said. This is what I mean : Firstly, incomplete homework are a dozen, stacked up. Next, there is the "no-time-for-play" theory. No time to study and do homework usually does not equate to no time for play, but in this case, it's severely crippling my leisure time. It's taking up so much time that I'm not able to keep this blog updated. That's like the freaking basic of me. Eat sleep and shit is all disrupted by studies. Bloody hell.

Adjacent to that nonsense, there is nothing better than sleep. Without sleep, no one would live. Realised how important that is now? Huh huh huh?! I do not get enough sleep ( maybe because I'm an abnormal human being who needs at least 10hours before being satisfied ) and often lethargic in class. Feeling the adverse effects of not enough sleep. Stunt growth, that's explains my height, and at it, accounts for my outstanding growth side ways.

On to the random stuff, I'm shitty pawned by the insensate tests proudly sponsored by Dunman Sec. I'm not complaining because of lack of skills but rather the over exhausting lessons that we are not yet adjusted to. ~~ Haven been blogging since, forever! Crap the daily shit. Sometimes I really wish I can just take a long break, escape from reality for a period of time and then come back to it. Yeah, but that's procrastinating so it's bad. Can't do bad things ya?

Facebook dying too and everything else that's inter-link with computer. Could only get a hold on the English assignments but not for the sciences. To be candid to myself, I'm not even sure about the basics of Chemistry. There's no one subject that I can safely say I'm good at and because of that, I'm feeling dreadfully insecure. So sorry to the certain someone who wants me to do well in my studies, I just can't keep up to the pace. It's just me I guess, from the outlook of everything, no one seems to be suffering the same fate as me. Social studies test was an abhorrent way of starting the day. With me now, cursing myself for not being able to finish the stupid essay question in time. Even though I wrote like 2 pages, hell I don''t think I've compiled all my thoughts and fulfill the requirements yet.

As for normal, monday's always a slacker day whereby nothing gets done well in the process. got scolded in class for not donning ourselves well in tie, apparently, monday's most important fashion tip is to wear your tie nicely. Test~ PE was okay today caused we spent the whole lesson playing our own personalised games. Recess followed by A maths and then English. Deciphered the meaning behind the exceptionally well conducted lesson. English is nice when you have a teacher who is able to relate things to reality and follow up by adding real life, first hand experiences, telling stories where we feel our heartstrings are intertwined with the feelings of victims and personals in the stories itself. It's all because of the free and unrestrained style of expressing yourself clearly, articulating your thoughts and projecting them forward like a professional. It's unlike maths and sciences where you have to prove something by a certain and definite method. What do you need to prove about English?

Assembly was an utter bore fit for a comatose vegetable. Total defence, I wonder about the number of times I've gone through the prevention before. Not marring the image of a ceremonious occasion, I'm just saying that it's not what I wanted. I'm just justifying what I write because I used to have some people engaging me in some petty skirmish because I commented on an assembly programme. Ah don't raise it again. Spent the whole assembly talking nonsense with Nicole. Telling her all about the "inspirational posters" Example :

LOL. Got lamer ones.

And Yes! I have to explain the meaning for someone. *ahhem* the first of the gifts symbolises peace, calmness and serenity of the sea, holding something pure and fresh like the gentle waves of the panorama view. It serves as a keepsake and untold stabilty in life and everything that you do. Next of the gift, reflects on the person its presented to. Comforted and mollycoddled, pampered and clamoured in the rain of eternity. Followed by friends and always in the middle of everything, stepping out, eclipse upon everyone else. The middle piece represents a clear image of what I think of you. Precious and significant. I guess, its probably self-explainatory.

Hope you get the meaning =D

2009-02-11T19:31:00.002+08:00

Songs are amazing don't you agree? They make you emotional and stuff. I'm like listening to these so called "songs with angelic voices". Okay, I must admit that I am ALWAYS touched when I hear this sort of songs. I simply can't resist it, maybe because I tend to reminsce over the past once I hear something heavenly. Beautiful and gorgeous voices pervading the air. Out with heavy metal, c'mon, their just making loads and loads of noise. I'm not forcing anyone to agree with me cause this sort of topics are controversial, opinions vary from people to people. Sorry, i can't refuse my sentimental feelings. Had to pen this down somewhere><

"You are Loved", "Sanctus", "Nirvana", "Right here waiting for you" and "Return to innocence" are some of such songs I'm harping about. If you have the time to spare, do listen to these songs. It'll lighten the darkest of days and gloomest of moods.

Well, Competition today wasn't getting anywhere and very unfruitful. Got beaten down crap just because my opponent style contradicts mine - he pure defense and me, attack. Well, yeah, I'm not that impressive an aggressor but at least it was enough to give them a hard time ( I hope ). Lost plenty of balls due to my own faults, got some nice balls in but some got reflected. Drats! Noel was the most comical of the lot. After smacking the damn ball, he was so hell confident that that was the killer shot, guess what? It got reflected when the idiot turned away. Not a coincidence caused it happened more then twice. rofl!

Went home feeling abit dampen partially due to the competition and school work, comtemplating ideas to skip the chinese essay test tomorrow. Yeah, you know me, never good with words in chinese, where every word is vocabulary to me. Bloody hell. God bless me, your moribund son. How mundane can life get? I'm in the wrong class suffering a fate worst then anything-bad-that-you-can-think-of-other-than-death. Wtf. Blame it on the stupid and predictable Jun Ming, always doing all sorts of insensate shit, displaying idiocy from every aspect. ._.

Back home and still searching for my covet kiss from *ahhem* ( I know you're reading this. Don't worry, you're not obliged to do so>< ) and my dearest books - Flowers of Evil (Banned in Singapore) and Tibetan Book of Death. Hell! Can't even find the location of a book. Tell me if you have it, be it second hand or brand new. Ms Cheng thanks for getting me so addicted to the book._. *No sarcasm, just a note of thanks*

*Cencored to the eyes of *Ahhem* Please do not ready this.
Found the perfect gift for her on Valentines already, just waiting to get it and add on some touch up before handing it to her. Haha. Even got the presents ready, just pondering over a destination on that day itself. Lijin ( I got it right this time yeah? ), this time, I won't be a failure Okay! Get the nasty impression of me outta your head! Lol . I'll leave the other suggestions from the barbeque that day to a later date for fear it might make her jump out of her skin. ><

I know the *Ahhem* thing isn't working wonders but for formal sake, covering her name. The name is no secret unless you have been laggin for 2 years now; Open secret as you might call it. Yaya. Blahblahblah. Qi Xiang stop teasing me about it!, Kiat Han, don't follow him ffs. And Yang Fan, get off my backs! ._. Ah! Now that's off my chest, I might consider studying all my upcoming tests by hard now. Lol

2009-02-10T20:38:00.002+08:00

Satan with the pseudonymous alchemist Hermes Trismegistus and calling boredom the worst of miseries, neatly sets the general tone of what is to follow:

If rape and poison, dagger and burning,
Have still not embroidered their pleasant designs
On the banal canvas of our pitiable destinies,
It's because our souls, alas, are not bold enough!

Malediction:

It's Ennui! — his eye brimming with spontaneous tear
He dreams of the gallows in the haze of his hookah.
You know him, reader, this delicate monster,
Hypocritical reader, my likeness, my brother!

All Humans are born evil,
All humans are born even.
Glimpse After Glimpse,
Glance after Glance. What do you think?

OMG ! You are loved by Josh Groban rocks! : Don't give up. It's just the way of the world.

Randomness. Had nothing to write. I know. I would be better off studying for my Physics test right now. Sadly I don't have the damn book with me right now. What a time to forget. zzz

2009-02-08T17:26:00.003+08:00

Okay, here's to update everything for interesting that happened the past few days. Though it might not be very enterprising, do bear with me =D

Thursday was the purely flat and boring. The lessons were usual and everything went on as for normal. Supposedly training turned into a slacker day and went home to do nonsensical stuffs again.

Friday!! Test!!! Stupid A maths test! To hell with it! It would really be a miracle if I pass it. I didnt do the last question, first question was totally screwed. Second question would be great if I got it right. As for the third question, it was freaking stupid, I could have thought of it so long ago but fucking hell! I though of the answer only 3mins before the test ended. Bloody hell! So much that I got the whole fucking equation messed up! Oh no!

Tabletennis competition with Ngee Ann was practically a waste of time, they could have simply said, Dunman Sec is out of the competition due to the lack of skills. Sec 4 captain got trashed flat. What else is there to comment on? Played doubles with Noel, 11-3 ._. Okay, I'm a podwerful lagger. It took me 2 years to realise that I am not a doubles player. zzz. I left after the game ended , not because I have to rush for the debate competition, but rather I can't stay to watch the next match with Tanjong Katong. Yeah, need not guess. Got trashed flat as well.

I hate Tk._. We should have been able to get top 4 this year but once again, bloody hell ._. ,we got freaking easy schools at first but when Tk came into the picture. Guess what happened? The whole order had to be tried out again. So much that we got all 4 other schools better then us. zzz. As predicted, Dunman lost to Tk 5-0.

Back at school at 3.30 slackslacktalktalk with Jin Hui and Deebie for like 1 and a half hours . 1 and a half hours with Mighty Morphing Power Rangers! ._. The Video! Oh for god's sake! Please remove that song! IT totally DOES NOT FIT! Change it to anything else! Took the bus to CHIJ with the rest of the debaters and Kamini was like,"Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus. Wrong School. " LOL! Adnan was teasing Kamini over it. Haha!

The debate for the sec 4s ended with a clear win. Dunman Won Geylang methodist with a 20point margin. The most hilarious thing is that, they sent a Cheena debater to challenge us. Lol. He was freaking harping on Softcaps. What the fuck is a softcap? Could hardly understand what their main point was about. Lol. That explains the whole thing.

For the Sec 3 debate. It was dysphoric that we lost by 1 point. Lol. Theron was not engaging enough. Okay, that sounded wrong but dun get the wrong idea. Lol Deebie and Jin Hui laughed their heads off when the Judges mentioned it. Was a wasted match anyways. We would have simply won if we had the points, that our debaters did not touch on even though it was impressive. Sad! I roughly got the format of the whole thing, maybe I can start debating soon for anyone knows. =D

Debate ended near 11 and together, the trio went for supper at Mac. Lol. Exploited Jinhui and made him pay for our supper. Thanks ah Jin Hui. Lol Deebie and I ate 3 big pack of Fries and 1 Milo. Lol. Took the Mrt to Cityhall before changing lines and subsequently back to Tampines.

Saturday, went back to School for Lit and then back home for Tuition. Strange enough, I was able to force myself to sleep at 5. And woke up at 2am this morning. AND BACK TO SLEEP AGAIN. till 9am this morning. LOL

And another point of prove that I am a super pro lagger, I actually did not know that I can NEVER STUDY AT HOME. Not due to the computer, but rather my parents.

Dear angels in charge of my parents,

"Please bring me a mircale but keeping them quiet for more then a week. That would save my guardian angel the trouble of restraining me from shouting my lungs out at them and subsequently, causing them to take care of me when I'm all alone on the streets.

Dumb Dumb Jun Ming, it is my fault to chose this family to begin with and i sincerely hope that you can turn them into heavenly parents. That would be the best belated present ever. Thank you!"

Sincerely,
Jun Ming.

._. Stupid day.

2009-02-04T22:02:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF!!!

I shall be lazy for today and not do any available homework. Besides that, I wish to have enough sleep and not be tired for the following day! Lol .

Though it's a happy occasion, I still can't help feeling sick in tabletennis. Playing with no form, awful standards and stuff. Random stuffs : Bbt-ed with yongjie, Sheryl , Caleb, Remus, Bryan, Yi Quan ... Ps if I missed you out >< . First time in such a long time, chattered for quite a long time before going off. Lol. Guess it only comes once a year. On my birthday ._.

And Thanks for all the wonderful presents you guys gave! Yiling, thanks for the poopy moneybank, Aster for the stuff toy. Lol, I'm a great collector of stuff toys, you have just contributed to it. =D

I'll shan't be naggy on my birthday. So this post shall be left short. Once again, thanks for making it my day! =D

2009-02-03T19:51:00.002+08:00

Okay, first I need to address a mobbing crowd coming after me due to wrong spellings of names. So sorry, I use to fail my spelling tests everytime there was 1. Even now. Btw, Yi Jin sounds better then Li Jin. LOL << You didn't see that. No offense in anyway that you can think of. Joyce has been amended to Joy. Horrid spelling and phonics classes ( however that was supposed to be spelt.)

Went to school later then usual because I had the sudden urge to sleep longer therefore, stayed in my aunt's house the day before and left the house only at 7.20. Considering the time I left house, it's quite a feat reaching school at 7.50 and managed to finish all the remainding homework I had ( or should I say all the homework I've ever had for the week.) Ate marshmellos at it lol. Drew circles in my chem book, stole Hoi Ki's work and started scribbling all over my own copy of it. Thanks to Hoi Ki, I'm save. I didn't had to kill brain cells.

MT lesson was group discussion brainstorming wadever you call it. Could explain everything in English but Oh chinese, what do you think? What's impact writing in chinese? What's rhetorical questions in chinese, uh? lol . Bet you don't know as well. Lol Went through arid text and began to doze off until Mr Tang came in and disturb my reverie. Go wild, create a spree on the board. Taught more new mind-bouggling topics and ways to solve equations. I'm dying from all this shit! OMFG.

Recess, ate my fill with stomach ache at it. Continued living for the next few hours. English lesson, I've got news that I might be able to go for the debate competition. Debating for the school sounds fun. Haven get the structure of the speech style yet, but still learning. Considering taking up a second CCA. Don't get me wrong, cause the stage drama's practise falls on the same day as tabletennis, so it's like killing 2 birds with 1 stone =D . Mdm Rohana told more life stories, Singapore stories, current affairs and more stories.

Maths browsed through the same old thing + practises on the board. Nothing much to commend about that. Chemistry practical I was like a white elephant walking about doing nonsensical stuffs instead of helping. Hehe, partially because I didn't know what to do in the first place. Tide over the shit quite quickly though. Nice crystals! Lol .

After school toured the school looking for bubbletea goers lol and then only found Kenneth for it. Noel called me for practise at changkat but didnt want to go, so i decide to stick to home rather then run all over the streets like a mad dog and sweating like crazy. Sleep is still the best; highest of pleasures available to man.

2009-02-01T21:29:00.003+08:00

Barbeque today!!! Best of all, Hoi Ki's house! Sad to add, this is my first time visiting her house. Dang! Ya lor, I should have visited her often when I was sec 1 right? Crap._. There goes my junior year. Started off with a lazy afternoon at home doing household chores. Got my shirt ironed and vacumned the floor blablabla. Waited impatiently for the barbeque to start, so being so smart, I used my favourite method of passing time. Dota! Lol.

Yeah, thanks to that, I met Chris 30mins later then the supposed meeting time. Lol. Psps. Surprisingly, Hoi Ki came with us too though she was really quiet during the whole journey and tend to walk alone in front of the whole batch. That was after the rest of the group came. Before they ( Sheryl, Felicia and Joyce) came, we're went shopping for stuff toys( you didn't see that) for Yiling and Siew Ling. It was done in like 30mins flat because,Tm being ever so resourseful with Christmas/Birthday/wadevereventthatrequirespresents gifts. Brought Yiling a Tiger stuff toy and Siew Ling a Doramon stuff toy. Shared with Chris and Hoi Ki for Siew Ling's present.

Sheryl and Felicia came together with Joyce at about 3 and then they went to buy Guitar thingy and caused HER to move to one corner to ._. Well after that, walkwalktalktalk and took a pleasure stroll to the MRT station. Hoi Ki very sad leh, walk in front. Tried to get her to socialise more but she was like " Nothing to say leh" ._. HOI KI!!! TALK MORE!!! GO CRAZY I DONT MIND! LOL. Bleh! 10mins to Kembagan and to the barbeque pit. Had to wait for Jorim to come with the food and other stuffs. Crap nonsense and do stupid stuff ANDANDAND Yi Jin! Keep disturbing me! I don't like you!! ROAR!! So demoralising._. I wan go hide in a corner and cry le.

Food came and so did hysterical Jorim. Took an hour to set up the fire and in that hour we, once again, did nonsense. Played Taiti and YIJIN! So lousy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Hoi Ki was eating a sausage or was-that-a-hotdog? and then it looked like she was giving it a blowjob. Pika~chu~ . It had sparks._. *randoms/ Yiling was chef and cooked all the food with upmost skill. Chris was there too helping out, so was Benji and Hoi Ki, although she's a roamer.

I was so tired of getting suan-ed by Marc and Yi Jin that i went over to Hoi Ki and joined in the emo frenzy. Lol. Notice Hoi Ki always walk with her forehead facing the sky whenever she feels bored? Okay, maybe I'm the only one that bothers to notice her but yeah ._. Ate to the fill and then OMG! I went up to Hoi Ki's house for the first FUCKING TIME IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! WOOT! Fascinating house, the living room was like a bar counter lol. Didn't managed to get a generous view of the house. BUTBUTBUT! I'll definately wanna come again. Thats a promise to myself.

Fast forwards. Ate dinner, cursed tomorrow's PE lesson, damn the homework due tomorrow. Killed a dozen ants and cooked more stuff and do more nonsense, playing Blackjack and winning $4 at it, bullshit talk and MORE nonsense. Lol. UNTIL the cake cutting part! Choco cake and Hoi Ki was counting how many Kg she'll gain after eating it. Dang. Who will get fat after eating 100g of cake? Hoi Ki is 36Kg ffs.

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Seng-ed and cleared the cake before attempting to finish the rest of the food. Sadly, I could only stay till 9 before my time was due. Stole the Sparkling wine bottle cork as keepsake. It'll come back to Hoi Ki one day. It's soon though. I warn!

2009-01-29T18:45:00.002+08:00

Arid day, morning had to go to 4H for some bonding session. Didn't quite work out as the rest of the class was like having picnic at the back of the class. Hardly anyone is getting involve with the others. Wrong word>< Involve Lol . Spent the hour there slackslacktalktalk. I was running about stealing food off everyone's table HAHAHAHA! I'm greedy. Cut into the Chinese lesson . Awwwwwwww! ( We're taught to say there even if we really dislike something remember? ) 30mins for chinese and got over with it soon enough.

Bad day for physics to step in. I'm like going crazy over physics soon due to the massive amount of information to absorb in an exiguous period of time. Bleh! Today, no more practical T_T. So on with the theory and bullshit, draw insensate graphs and got the whole figure wrong. So i crapped and borrowed Kiat Han's answer to put on the board. Most idiosyncratic ( Yeah, you've probably guessed, I'm learning to use big words>< ) , Mr Latiff took Kenneth's book to mark on the screen. It was like, *ahhem* mostly incorrect location of the points. Lol . I'm not insinuating that my books better then his or anything but rather, LOL, I can't carry on ><

Recess chiong-ed SS while the rest of the class jaunty skip downstairs for lunch. See how miserable my life is? I've to survive on bread all day long, others can enjoy a full meal. Lol Deprivation due to homework. Maths gave homework which I'm still scratching my head over, taught exercise 2.6 today and roughly got the concept. SS was, usual, boring and vitality draining. Rubbish about the government system and stuff about applying the 4 main themes into the whole thingy. Wasn't interesting at all.

English was dull today, for the first time since the start of the year. Horrid crap and stupid class test about Geishas, said it was hard. I've got a pessimistic feel about my studies this year. I'm really gonna fail if I don't start studying soon. Had this compilation exercise homework and then got to finish it by monday. Let's not harp on History with the torturous "photocopy machine" we had mystically turned into today.

After school tabletennis till 3.30 before we got chased out of the hall because Drama students were coming for official training. Sat at the seats just above the basketball court and did my lit homework and everything else. All except maths and SS. Just kill the momentum. Quit tabletennis!

2009-01-28T21:12:00.002+08:00

Okay fine. So I'll have to mention Sheryl (Oh! I just did) in this post, add Hoi Ki into my wishlist and irritate Jacqualine more. Lol, I'm cool with that.

Dang the day! The minute New year ends and we had to endure 2 triple periods of science and more to come in the near future. Next week, we'll have 3hours of Physics followed by 3hours of Bio the following week._. I can bet a hundred dollars I'll sleep in class. 101%. Love History yeah? The period of the day whereby I get to crap nonsense and talk rubish to everyone around me. Guess I'm pro at irritating huh? Lol. Watch me. It'll get worst, hahahahahahaha! Survived a Physics lesson apparently because it was a practical lesson. The bob swing and swing and swing ._. Took down stupid records and somemore precautions on future practical lessons, SPA.

After recess which I've labouriously endured, without going down stairs, and science lesson. This time, Bio in action. Practical as well, got a feeling I won't be so lucky to have 2 practicals in a row on Friday. Ah! Friday's a sick day. I'm kinda wishing I'll get to desert the insensate lessons. Wondered why I chose this combi in the first place._. Hoi Ki, don't repeat this. I'll be adding you into my wishlist soon enough. Just you wait. Lol.

Chinese was surprisingly inspiring. I've got the sudden urge to study chinese! Lol. Yeah, It's like a flux of inspiring air just splashed me in the face. I have to get better results this year round and more importantly, next year's O level, so I'll have to work hard. As for maths, as usual got past it before I know it. And the worst news, A Maths make up lesson + Competition ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY! WTF? NONONONO! I DON'T WANT.

Oh and the Sheryl part! Yeah, thanks for having lunch with me at bubbletea ( no thanks to Kenneth who had left so abruptly._.) and this time I didn't managed to get another weird picture of Jac. Lastly, thanks for pangseh-ing me and leaving me AFTER THE GATE WAS CLOSED. Cost me 10mins of walking "pleasure" to the front gate. Dumbdumb Sheryl, still obsessed with Julian. Don't worry, Julian isn't reading this, btw he said you could ask him out =D Lol. Who would mind flattery from a girl?

Tabletennis was hogwash talk. Got my jersey and stuff, prepared for the competition. And so, It's affirmative. I'm Noel's double partner this year. Dang. And I thought I was thinking of playing singles. How I abhor doubles, all about complying and supporting ._. Well, Jervis didn't get into B after all. Stuck in C.

And conclusively, I'll get everything back up and updated with the links and other miscellaneous things by the weekend. Sort of an assiduous pupil you see?

2009-01-27T20:33:00.002+08:00

What a fabulous new year. A spread for the new year's eve but yet, the service was horrible. Some sucky restaurant at vivo had this way of service that they had to ask us if we finished eating a dish even before we are half way through ._. So here's a reminder to all the people out there, if you're thinking that vivo rocks and food's great there, you're probably right BUT watch out for their service standards LOL. Got on with the rest of my new year's eve with a insane dota marathon. Well, didn't managed to get some "ya-shui-qian" Dang.

Day 1 of the new year! Same old routine, visiting my ancestors temples and stuff like that. Bla bla bla. Done with that and then went to Old Hong Kong for lunch with my maternal grandmother for lunch before heading to her house. Ah! Her house was seriously so boring that I could have charged boredom with attempt murder if I had leave the house a minute later than I already have. God, we reached there at like 1? And then people came and go, first batch lingered around for like 45mins and then we had to chat AWHILE longer with my grandmother. Suaysuay, we leaving then another batch came. I was like, "why can't we go home? It's not like it's our house."

Carried on with the party at home and then blackjack! Won $10+ cause I wasn't really playing big. Once again the dota marathon, O god, don't get me addicted! Night falls and my dads friends came. My dad was so busy with his work on his phone that he had his friends standing there awkwardly for like 15mins. I stared and stared and stared._. They stared back , it didn't make me feel uneasy but I guessed they felt it. Lol . It wasn't my fault. Lol

Stupid gathering , lasted till 11.30. Ate into my sleeping time ._. Yeah, if you haven't guess, I'm the reincarnation of a pig. I sleep 16hours on weekends LOL.

Day 2 was mere visiting around my various aunties house. It was great! Stayed around and messed up their whole house. Now, New year is the period of time when people tidy up their house for their guests to mess it up again right? I'm evil, everyone knows that. Lol. Woke up at 11+ and then we were late for the meeting at my uncle's house.

Moved from house to house till finally a stop at my 3rd aunt's house. With Copper there =D Disturbed him until he had to hide from me. Muahahahahahaha! Blackjack spree again. Won only $2 this time ._. Okay, so this week, I'll have $12 extra allowance. Lol.

Nothing much to say about this year's party and stuff though it was splendid. Well, you could say, "hao-dao-mei-hua-suo" >< Therefore, super short post for this year.

2009-01-24T23:10:00.003+08:00

Ah about Jac's photo! =D Anyone who like to have it please ask it from me personally and I shall enlighten you. Jac won't know yeah ? HAHA!! I'm sooooooo freaking evillllllll, I know. It's the best picture I've ever got from Jac EVER!! OMFG.

Okay, nothing colossal happened today. A mere Saturday afternoon, just got my fugly hair cut and then hypnotic english writing lesson. Yeah! Today, I got to write narrative. Therefore, I abused it and wrote 567 words before the lesson ended, not including the climax yet. Just securing my base first. Lol. How enchanting can a love story get =D

And I can't believe my luck today! - both good and bad ._. First, Hoi Ki invited me to her house!! OMFGOMFGOMFG!! But due to the unresponsive reply that she'd receive from the other friends she invited, it failed terribly. I can't possibly be the only one going to her house, can I ? Parents are super sensitive and they'll give both, me and Hoi Ki, an arduous time if we did that. Butbutbut! Don't EVER get me wrong, I'd love to though =D lol.

With that, I got my gaming period going and got a little bored. Crap hell lot of nonsense on the forums and then prepared for my maternal reunion dinner. To say, the food wasn't that exceptionally good but the price was extravagant. $810 for like 7 dishes. It was the perfect expression for WTF. Didn't really ate much as it wasn't to my liking. I know, the poor African kids are suffering. Blablabla. That's a failed arguement so people out there using that as an excuse to try coerce someone to eat something that cannot eat anymore, stop using it.

The scenery at Clifford Pier was very much Urban. I was more to the rural part, the kind like Japan's countryside. Notice that Japan's countryside, no matter which part of the country, is rarely dirty. I'll never travel countrysides of any other country apart from Japan. Lol. Stayed on till 10 before leaving CBD. Now, that explains the late post, yeah? Lol.

New year's eve tomorrow and we have training for the coming tabletennis competition, sorta agreed to play doubles for it therefore I've to train with noel tomorrow. >< I doubt we'll be doing well this year, firstly because I'm not really that suitable for doubles and secondly, I haven started training as a doubles player yet. Lacking of practise can really significantly cripple a doubles pair in terms of control and cooperation.

Yeah, that's all for the day. Guess the coming 3 days would be interesting with my exotic hairstyle and more weird happenings around the New year period. Lol.

2009-01-23T21:49:00.002+08:00

50hours more to Chinese New Year! =D Now, here I am, waiting impatiently for the New Year to come. Today, being the last day of school before the new year, I rejoice, I guess not only me. Bad thing is that we have a hell-ish lot of homework. Thanks Cher!

Thank you for being so nasty homework-wise. Thank you for blessing us with sick and note-less lessons ( Ms Teong ) . And Last of all, Thank you for giving us so much homework DURING THE NEW YEAR'S PERIOD. Now, the teachers can run along and enjoy their freaking new year while the pupils slug their hearts out doing the stupid work. Oh and, Teachers often give this excuse " You do 1 piece, I mark 42 pieces leh." . Okay, lets look at the odds.

Step 1 : Etablish the simple facts

We take about 1hour to finish a piece of work given, a teacher takes 2hours marking the whole class. This is the New year's period.

Step 2 : Elaborate

We have 42 pupils in our class. Multiple that by 1. Therefore, the class spends 42hours doing 1 assignment and a teacher spends 2hours marking. That is 21 times the amount of time. What's more? Marking only takes place after doing. And since it is homework, the teachers won't be looking at the work until after the holidays. Pupils will have to do their work DURING the new year's period.

Step 3 : Conclusion

Therefore some ( I didn't say all ) teachers are inconsiderate and unkind creatures that roam the school.

Okay fine, crap with the above rubbish. I shall skive and not do their homework regardless of the punishment. I am being a good student as I'm using discernment and discernment tells me not to do homework when visiting other people's house =D It's respect. And nights are meant for sleep and recent surveys show that students nowadays do not get enough sleep. The suggested amount of sleep for a teenage of age 15 is 8.75hours. Accounting for all the visitings and stuff, we will only be able to rest at 11 and have to wake up at 7. We are missing 0.75hours of sleep. OMFG ._.

For today, started the day with maths and being one of the heartless teachers teaching our class, he had to give homework ( Even though it's not alot, but everything is accounted for yeah? ). Blablabla new formula and things . Paid close attention today because of my promise yesterday. Lol. Biology, I'm so sorry. I seriously can't pay attention for any of the sciences. Listening her talk was like listening to my stomach grumble. Thank god, I survived the 1 and a half hour lesson. Why must they have the lessons so closely together? ._.

Recess. Chemistry. Okay this time I was a little more intelligent. I bought food! Yeah! I smuggled it upstairs UNDER THE WATCHFUL EYES OF OUR BELOVED DISCIPLINE MASTER. Lol . I was like spam eating my cracker because of my height, I got away with it EASILY. That's 1 advantage of being short. So shorties out there, do not despair! We have our advantage of being short!

English copied out the whole essay we did the day before. I didn't do the corrections even though I knew I had to do it. Lol. So, I'm just gonna act dumb and then say I don't know anything about it. *I'm so smart! Lol * I doubt she will scold anyway. Lol. Haven seen her shout at anyone this year, so far. After school tabletennis with Caleb, Heng Yi, Keith, Noel and Luqman. Started at around 1 and then I went off at 3. Wasn't much except the match that I had against caleb. Supposedly 7 sets but I trashed Caleb the first 4 sets, so it just end. 4-0.

AndAnd!!!!! I can't believe my ears! HoiKi called out for me when I came out of the hall!! That's like the fucking first time. OMFG IM GOING HYSTERICAL!!! Took 28 today after a horribly long wait. Didn't chat much but saw her SL ( YuQuan ) with his girlfriend and he treated her like a princess. Lol. Interesting, amusing. Lol.

That's all for my monotonous day at school and here's wishing EVERYONE A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! =D

2009-01-22T21:01:00.002+08:00

How mundane can life get? Yesterday I was practically gettin depressed over some matter and today I'm screaming and extremely animated. It wasn't really anything come to think of it. So like I am always capable of, I chucked it at the back of my head. Trainings are becoming a chore rather then something enjoyable that I can look forward to after school. Sometimes, it's really the people that makes something good or bad.

Like all other mornings, we had something boring called "assembly" and then followed by reading of the book "Heartland". I've to thank Sheryl from saving me the trouble of writing a 500word essay entittled "Why I must remember to bring my storybook?" Mother tongue was next and we had this chinese letter writing which got me so intensely involve in finishing the damn piece of chinese thing. I thought we've done an essay 2 days back? Lol.

Physics was utterly a sleeping lesson, one where I had to consume my recess to keep conscious. The chalk talk has serious attention captivity problems. It doesn't even have the power to keep my eyes on the board for more then 30seconds without my lids shutting. he pratter on about the practical skills that we all must inculcate in us. For fuck sake! It was really an arid treatment for a supposedly interesting topic. I'm so sure that Mr Sim could do it a thousand times better then he did. Recess!

E maths was about the graphic calculator thingy again. This time with Mr Tang doing the talking and not the ang moh. Could tell that he got alittle sulky because of our class behaviour when he told the class to keep quiet. He didn't want to blow his top in front of the prof. Lol. This time, the lesson was much more alluring than the last. Well, got over the hour that didn't really felt like an hour . Lol.

Social studies was some quick revision and so. Blah blah blah, homework, structured essay thing. Wasn't paying attention either. I've got a badddddddddddd feeling that I'm gonna have an exhausting time in Sec 3 due to my indifferent attitude towards my studies. Dang! OMG I'm gonna make a promise to myself, I will study! I must study! I must do well! I'm going to read the dictionary to improve english , memorise the science books and go insane, flip the chinese newspaper on a daily basis, and everything else that could help me in my studies! Hell yeah!

ENGLISH! Yeah! Letter writing was a drab. BUTBUTBUT!! The teacher wasn't! Still as lively as ever but what I could not stand was her biaseness. I'm sure everyone has realised at this point. She's a little more inclined to Theron. Though I don't really care, it's starting to get on my nerves, hearing his voice every period which I silently wished was quiet as well. Scribble a few lines and get over the whole drag in less than 30mins. Sat there chatting with Ronald and he didn't even lifted his pen. Lol. He just wasted 60mins of his life rotting and doing nothing. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against his, he's just too innocent and náive. Lol.

History sick homework when she obviously knew we couldn't do it. Guessed she merely wanted us to try it out first before she starts explaining everything to us and blow our minds with facts. Aww. Tomorrow will be a long day. Fucking double science 3 periods each. I'm starting to deplore the current state of morality I'm in. Why did I even choose this class in the first place? Nvm, at least, I know I've great friends in this class =D

After school bbt with Sheryl and JacJac! They went crazy trying to pull the chairs out, so I took a picture oO. I'll post it some other time lol. It was hilarious! Lol! Anyways, done with lunch and back to school to play tabletennis with some of my cute cute juniors! =D playing in school U was a martyrdom. But I rather loved the small training group. At the very least, I didn't have hostile personels playing there. Saw the badminton group training and then felt sorry for the sec 2s that got 50pushups thanks to us >< Ps.

Sad day I know but ironically, I felt ecstatic about it. Lol

2009-01-21T20:16:00.003+08:00

If the wind could touch us kindly and softly,
why can't humans feel the same?

If the plants can remain nonchalant to words,

why can't humans do the same?

And if the days were peaceful and serene,
why can't humans behave the same?

Indignation infects us easily,

Be it right or wrong,

No matter whose at fault.

Today friends, tomorrow foes.

"Words are sharper then swords",

That's the way things goes.

Fondle upon memories for contemplation,

Nothing favourable for a celebration.

What have they done to stain their names

In bad books,

With permanent ink?

Alot, I'd say.

With speeches coated and dripping with sarcasm,

I cannot neglect.

From polite conversations to eruption of an acrimonious argument.

Playing Possum till it tides over? An obvious No.

Simply phrased, may dysphoria diffuse.

I shan't elaborate on my dysphoric day.. The above poem explains it all. If i go on any longer, I'll look as though I'm harping on some shit that I abhor. My abysmal performance isn't helping either. At such, I hate myself for being this way. Should I ameliorate or procastinate salvation?

I seriously can't get a grip on myself.

Short post today, crestfallen and depressed.

2009-01-20T16:50:00.002+08:00

Now, being the ~~boliao~~ interesting guy that everyone knows, shall list the days that I like to the days I dislike. Firstly, Mondays ROCKS!!! Followed by thursdays and tuesdays. Wednesdays and Fridays are ranked equally as I can't decided which day i like (dislike) more. Lets elaborate. Mondays are good because of the periods it has. All the engaging lessons which are not draggy and dead boring. Thursdays are slacker's days as there is no CCA / tuitions or any other activities so I can just go home and sleep. lol . Tuesdays are much the same but worst then thursdays because there is Chemistry. Wednesdays and Fridays. tsktsk. I shan't say any more.

Day started off with rubish chatting in the class till 8.20 before the class starts. First lesson is chinese. I love it when chinese slacks =D Just basic reading which I, already, could not manage. Lol. Still daydreaming when she called my name to read the passage (damn!). Bleh! Next was maths we learnt something new. The synthetic stuff !! Could just get a grasp on it but not really that confident yet. And I just realised that Mr Tang talks in a really unique manner. Like all the maths department teachers speak that way. Mr Tang has the same teaching and speaking style as Mr Sim. Maybe it's just the way maths speaks. lol

English lessons was dull today ( Oh no! ) because of the stupid letter writing which I disliked the most. Of all the funny and strange compositions, I would do all except letter writing unless coerced into it. Yeah , being a "Loquacious" boy, I can't force myself to talk less in a friendly environment. Why not? What's the point of shoving a pile of notes into my mouth and digesting it as if you're just occupying the space in the class. Oh no! Reminisced past events in 2E ! ._. Now, may 3B allow me to study in perfect rapture =D . And And And! ________ caught my attention today! He has an egocentric philosophy that ignores social causes. Its almost as if the world is expected to revolve around him. WTF?

Maths lesson was a continuation of the previous math lesson. For Chem, we had our debut practical lesson! I was grouped with Kiat Han, Wei Jie and Qi Xiang. Lol. The trio had proved me wrong about my judgement - first impression yeah? They're actually a really fun, but lame group. It's not an insult but rather something like a trademark for the group. Lol, can't resist the laughing nerve in me. Everytime they do something lame, for example the octopus dance, I'll burst out in hysterical laughters. Lol. And yeah, the certain someone mentioned in the previous paragraph, he's got me again not at his stupidity but rather his ego-ness. For a matter that no one else said he've done, he admitted, just to have the honour of everyone looking at him. Once again maybe it's my eccentric nature doesn't see eye to eye with his egocentric nature but yeah, you get the point.

Now for soemthing lame.
Eccentric < Egocentric ( Eccentric has 9 letters while Egocentric has 10. )
Eccentric = Eocentric ( Something I've made up >< )
c = o

Lol. Utter rubish and the purest form of lame-ness. Bleh. I just had nothing to do.

Done with the practical and then off to Photo taking. The photographer had me putting on such a false smile that it disgust myself even though it's myself ._. I bet it'll turn out atrocious and I'd reserved the right to claim back my $2.50 if I am not satisfied with the results. (jk) I must see that they had touch up the picture with photoshop and added some mystifying substances to make the picture look heavenly. LOL . ( That's alot to ask for something that cost only $2.50 Lol) Maybe everyone should ask for that, then it would be a precedent for the other batches. Lol.

Went to Tm for lunch with Remus , Bryan , Deebie , Mareenah (don't know how it's spelt) , Junyi and Ivan. Ivan exposed his Homosexuality lol, he said he isn't hetro. Lol Okay no offence in any way cause I don't want to have his fist in my face tomorrow morning. Ate at Mac but their class-tee seller came and then me and Deebie had to sit on the other table ._. Remus shall die! Finished lunch and went home in 3. My after-school life is such a boring routine. home tuition CCA extra lessons whatever. Sucked to the core. Tomorrow's worst! Tabletennis T_T

2009-01-19T20:09:00.002+08:00

Thank You , Our PE teacher, for kick starting a sick day with a horrible doze of warm up exercise!

A day filled with lots of running and push ups really suck-ed to the core. In addition to that, there is the incessant chatter and sarcastic remarks made by our beloved teacher. Sometimes, it really can piss someone off big time. Firstly, he should work on his student management to make sure there is no form of discrimination of any sort and at that, he should also have a system whereby his brain picks the choice of words coming out of his mouth. Sarcasm isn't needed where they don't belong. What's more, let's emphasize shall we? The first round around the school was a mere warm up, that I'll have to agree but what comes after that, where everyone is dead exhausted other then the sports group people, is plain torture. What on bloody Earth did we do to deserve such a punishment? Having 1 person late in the whole squad of 28 people? Thanks alot. Part 2, why (the amount of push ups given) when it is obvious that the whole group is unable to meet what is expected? It's like giving a 10year old kid to do a PHD in maths, expected disappointment and unfruitful. Ah, the more I go on, the more it makes me feel agitated in this cool enjoyable air con room I'm in right now.

After recess, Mr Tang didn't come again. It'll become a bad thing if he skips class like this so often. Well, a change of places and arrangements of the seats and a mad homework rush as English is next. As usual, English is all so interesting. No one lesson is boring in my eyes, though I don't know what the others might think. Maybe it's because of her laughter and style of relating personal experiences to English itself. 'Still an enigma why I enjoy all sessions related to English so much. Even literature. Dreams. Fantasy and imaginations. Aww, can't wait for the next lesson to come ( Friday ) !! And And And! Mdm Rohana ( Like Mrs Ang and Mrs Wee ), got me mixed up with Jonathan "Chew" ( Supposedly Jonathan Tan but guessed she got both of them mixed up as well ). Well, 's a good thing that she remembered me. She mentioned Theron, Arnold and me! Yeah!!!! I'm honoured! =D After class, had to carry the books to her table in the staff room and she gave me the chance to take my Diagnostic test book back before she hands them out to the rest of the class tomorrow.

Though my story didn't link very well and that my story is unconvincing (yeah totally cause I was practically crapping a story and not putting my whole heart and soul into it), I've got 17/30. Moral of the story, try to get the story as close to your personal experiences and put effort into writing your essays as "What's written without effort is basically read without effort." Now, that is proven, in my case.

Assembly talk was a load of crap. Some talk about human welfare and then the climate change thingy which everyone is talking about with no actions at all. Screw the whole programme ; what's the use of talking so much about it when no one gives a fucking damn. I'm not saying that we shouldn't care about the dying Earth but rather, why not pull the others in by using a different method? You see, it's not going to work if it's just mere presentations. Who can't do a presentation ( a decent one ) . Okay, not discriminating against those who can't but at the very least , a decent one?

Table tennis was boring and depressing. The coach , instead of giving a motivational talk for the imminent competition, gave a depressing and unsatisfied talk. Maybe it's reverse psychology? I don't know. From the look of it, he was really looking down on the standards of Dunman's table tennis team. Oh gosh, I feel like quitting table tennis right now. Got really sick of everything already. For 3 hell years, been practising and training so hard, what for? Nothing. And got a lecture instead. I love it man! thank you god! We love you!

And before I end this post. I would like to condemn my weekends, which are filled with tortures of boredom. My weekends are plain lifeless gaming and "chiong-ing" of homework of all sorts. Be it tuition, school work, extra activities etc.. And if any Good Samaritans can ask me out, it would be great!

2009-01-16T22:10:00.002+08:00

Fridays are equal to Wednesdays. 3hours of expanded Science periods. Gave me a huge problem to start with. Started off with Maths and survived even though it was boring. I'm starting to get the impression that Secondary 3 syllabus is horrifically boring and can lull me to sleep at any point of the book(s). Maths was just basic practise like a revision of the previous year. The most significant part of the lesson would just be finding the number for the perfect square.

Bio up next and we had this theory lesson with lots and lots of big words + information to get into our heads. All in the short period of time. 90mins was all we had la._. Stupid Bio! Now we have to memorise big words and use them in some Essay. Oh no! If we don't know anything, it's not going to be a trival matter whereby everyone just heck care, like some class I know. This is 3B for fuck sake! We had this practical in class where we had to make a 3D version of a cell lol. First we were given some sweets =D then came the jelly and then the mess. All thanks to Sean! Never let me do + Adolphus kept on running down my ideas/ ruining my chain of thoughts. Thanks ah. That triggered the fervent prayers to change my god damn seat. Through it all, I was barely able to touch it. and Yeah, now I'm the hungry monster that's gonna eat up all the delicious food._. Piss-ed off so I just kept quiet.

After recess was Chem and Mrs Lim went through all the answers with us in class. Took up 1hour out of the entire thing. The last half an hour went to group discussion. I was placed in the same group with Kiat Han, Qi Xiang and Wei Jie, well because our register numbers were together. Got together in the group and started discussing our plans for the upcoming practical on Tuesday. I wrote out a crap plan and processes and instruments we need and sort of try and get to know the badminton boys better. Didn't really have a impressive impression at first though, but opinions do change =D Seems that their a well and socialable lot of people. Kiat Han jokes , Qi Xiang complies and Wei Jie being a little more mature tried to stop the nonsense. Lol.

English lessons merely unveiled the people who were going for remedial next Monday and just a tiny batch of homework._. for the weekends. Went to bubbletea with Kenneth ,Ryan and his sister. Kenneth violent protest was over ruled by me! He wanted Mac lol. Went home to put down the massive load I lugged from school and then back to school for Literature.

Miss Cheng was terrific! She's a great teacher man! She didn't quite teach the book today but rather threw us a couple of concepts to digest. One of the themes was Love. The part where all innocence and pure image of the Literature pupils were utterly destroyed and threw into oblivion. I shan't elaborate on that as it will really get things gross. Then we elaborated on the tittle of the book. A Midsummer night's dream. Wow! From a simple tittle, we could get tonnes of information. Absolutely loved the lesson though it didn't lasted long. I was still hoping the lesson will drag over 7, but it ended at 5.30.

Chinese lessons at 7.30 and made use of it to dispose of my chinese homework! Yeah! I got the compo translated!!!! =D HAHAHAHAHA YESSA!!! WOOT!!! LOVE IT! Not the whole thing though, it's like freaking long the english version of it.

2009-01-15T18:22:00.006+08:00

I've done it AGAIN! Changed the blogskin that had been the cover of my thoughts since ... I don't know when. So, now, GOODBYE TO THE OLD SKIN AND HELLO TO THIS!

BTWBTWBTW! Don't you know? Something big and huge is coming this way! It concerns me, Yiling and Siew Ling!!!! If you still don't know I'll skin you alive! Booooooooooooooooo. It is our _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ !!!! YEAH!!!! Random-ness. Sorry.

HOIKI!!!!! How are you this fine thursday evening, reading my blog. I just wanted to say _ . _ _ _ _ _ . _ _ _ _ . _ _ _ . =D Only smart people will guess. Hoi Ki, free answers on my lips LOL!

BLAHBLAHBLAH!!!!!

Holy cow! My new blog skin looks strange but it got my attention so it shall have the honour of staying on my blog for the next few weeks. Lol. ANDANDAND! ALL MY SECRET WORDS ARE BEING REVEALED!!! IT WAS SUPPOSE TO BE IN WHITE AND INVISIBLE IN MY OTHER SKIN! OH NO! LOL

________________________________________________________

2009-01-15T16:34:00.002+08:00

Morning are getting so dull with every the same, it could lull me to sleep by not doing anything. Then comes boredom + a bunch of unenthusiastic people streaming into class. Hell, am I surprised to see Sameul in school at 6.30! Wtf? I thought he was like 1 of the late late people ( Like all dota players ) ? Anyway, continued my picnic in class until everyone came. Cross the class borders to go over to Hoiki, it's like I'm at one end of the class and she at the other. Lol. Aww, she's always so bored in the morning, so i'm going to devise an EVILLLLLLLLLLLL plan to wake her up in the morning! =D Thank me. HOIKI, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS THIS TIME! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thus, began my first ever Thurday since the start of the school term. Had Chinese in the morning and attempted to translate my English essay into chinese, and it proved to be a huge failure. What a Cheena failure I am! All thanks to Chen (pronounced as "zhen" okay! ) Lao Shi , I was able to write the first 2 paragraphs of my Chinese essay =D She's the best cause she knows I suck at it so she has to help unless she wants me to hand in an empty sheet of paper to her to mark, air?

Following that, Physics. Bloody concepts and instruments. Didn't get me this time, concepts! Bleh! Could get hold of the information today though I utterly screwed my the changing of units stuff. Therefore, Mr Latiff had earned a consultation session with me. I'm going to bug him tomorrow, anyone interested? He seems friendly enough, yeah ? Naive at it too. >< And I learnt my lesson, I shall never sit beside anyone who likes to sit up straight during lesson time or is a model student who so often engage in a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong conversation with the teacher. sometimes I really wish I could see through Sean - both literally and figuratively. I'm like sitting right at the edge of the class and him beside me. I'm slouching and he's sitting up so straight. Okay maybe it's my fault for slouching BUT, what's so bad about slouching? Lol. *He's paying CLOSE attention.

Nothing really significant happened during recess, erm, NO! Actually, nothing really significant ever happens to me ._. Maths lesson was all about the graphic calculator and the whole class making funny equations. and OMFG! Our teacher is a Prof! Holy Cow ang moh! Yeah, the class mocking her and mimicked her accent. I didn't really cared lol. That 1 hour of my life passed rather quickly. Following that was social studies and then English. English lessons are never boring, I repeat NEVER BORING. Mdm Rohana haven started scolding anyone yet and her lessons are more of free and easy unrestrained. She gave the topic of peer pressure and had the class to present something.

Got into our groups and wrote crap. I wrote a whole piece of paper + concept map somemore! Then Mdm Rohana end class. Aiya! Wasted my pen ink and by the way, so far, no one is able to read my handwriting. The planning handwriting; it's completely and absolutely illegible. Marcus, Adolphus and the rest were busy chatting about Pokemon while poor Kenneth had to watch me write the damn essay. Dang.

History lesson was mesmerising! France hated the Germans , USA wanted to be the good guy and British was trying to be good to both sides- her people and the Germans. Totally retarded. France wanted revenge so much she would jump off the surface of the Earth. USA wanted peace but attack back just because a couple of hundred people died in a shipwreck. That gave the American's a hilariously lame reason to join in the war. In my opinion, if it was only the beginning of the war, America would have kept quiet. They joined in the war just to reap a huge profit out of it, exploiting the other countries. Selfish idiots. As for British, double faced assholes. Squeeze the German lemon till its pip or something. Gay bastards. Don't mean what they say. Kept harping on peace peace peace and then started a stupid war and killed a few million people. Hypocrites of society. Scums of the Earth._. Screw their moms. Germans the most innocent but then, they had the nerve to push the blame to some morons in their country. Still their country right? So they still have to die and accept punishment anyway. Want to push also push to some other country ma ._.

Read the above paragraph. That's what happens when I disagree with some insensate rubish and crap that the countries spit out. Idiot rhetoric crappers, may their moms burn in hell. World peace. Thanks for re-defining the meaning of peace. Bullshit! *MunMun I loan your word for once. That's what happens when you have deranged humans ruling your country.

Ended school and went for bubbletea! Supposingly with Remus, Caleb and Wilfred but then, Wilfred backed out at the traffic junture. Caleb went home after buying his bbt. Me and Remus had to eat at the void deck and Bryan came along, bought his food and ate with us also. AND I STOLE ALOT OF THEIR SONGS LOL. Finished the food and then a police patrol car stopped at the carpark and came to us. Lol

Came to explain some crap to try and pacify us. He ain't exactly that intimidating, heh. Went on and asked for our particulars and things. Humoured us a little with cold joke. bleh. Could tell that Bryan was a little nervous and so is Remus cause they were like trying to distract the police guy or something. Best thing to do in such a situation is just to shut up lol. Went to play tabletennis in the school for like 10mins before going home.

Strange conversation with Arnold, ended abruptly lol.

2009-01-14T18:58:00.003+08:00

Today shall be labelled as Science Day because of the long tedious Science periods we have on this day. How surprising, I found History ( supposingly a very boring subject ) more interesting then Bio. Lol. Morning crapped 3 pages of journal for the benefit of our dear vice-principal, Mrs Low. Had our non-boring History lesson with a teacher whose name I can't remember ( It's not my fault! ). It was about the world war 1 and that the countries behaving very immature, in my opinion, no offence if it was any one of the countries anyone reading this, loves.

Following that was Physics. Killed a billion brain cells. Thanks ah, cher! Strange concept that I thought I have already got a hold on but dear Mr Latiff had to prove me wrong. Damn! I found him really funny. I asked him a question, obviously because I don't understand, and he answered "ya" because he thinks that what I just said was some sense. Then, I read over and reviewed the question that I asked him and realised my stupid concept was utter rubish ._.

2nd time. Asked him another question. Cast me an uncertain look and ya-ed me again. Once again, not trusting the explaination that he had given me, reviewed it. Wrong again. bleh ._.

Recess! Then Bio, our Bio teacher English is superb. Still could remember the first time we met her. Someone drank coloured water and she said something about not approving of it. Then she made a theory about it and got it all screwed up. Like, what the hell? She was wrong and she argued using authority. Lol. Just the type of teacher that I would rebel against. Now I've got a bad feeling about Bio, kudos to myself. *Cheers* Up next Mother tongue. Oh no! Adolphus got like the whole chinese dictionary in his head. Pro-ness to the highest level. I was like "Err what is this picture telling me?", *stares at the screen for 10seconds* Adolphus behind "Fong Ping Lang Jing!" .

I demand a change of seats! Partially due to the rusty sit that I've obtained from Adolphus and because he's constantly making me feel so small. Acursed Adolphus ._. His new name now is Double A - Acursed Adolphus. Anyways, ended chinese and got on with E maths. That made me realise that I've got a pile of homework waiting for my sacred hands to scribble my heavenly handwriting on it. No teacher in charge though, because Mr Tang had to attend his Grandmother's 1st death aniversary. Heard from Chris that we were changing seats soon, words of mouth supposingly started from Felicia.

That's all for Curriculum time, then the commence of tabletennis. Decided to go there a little later because I wanted the Juniors to set up the tables blah blah blah. Yeah, I know. What a great senior I am. Speaking of that, I've got a cute cute junior named Jervis. He's shorter than me!!! So short that he can be my teddybear Lol. Coach wanted a competition today, so we complied ( we had to._. ).

First round was me VS Julian+Raqiff. Lost to them 11-9 . Sian le, and got to move on to the table behind that. Played with Keith and lost! WTF! Got so crestfallen and depressed that I decided to slack for the next hour. Saw cute cute Jervis owning the top table then he ask me play against him. Hehe, laughing at Yubing and Samuel that had went crazy playing against him. Screaming their heads off but still lose. Yubing managed to get a game after. Motivated, so i went on a maad rush up to the top table._. 7 tables in total. Got to the 4th table in 15mins lol, Jervis was moving between table 5, 6 and 7. Met him in the 5th table beat him 11-8 and then slack all the way. He's the reason why I wanted to rush the scores up to that table anyway. Lol.

*Hides in a corner* "Noel! come here. Help take charge cause Luqman not around." *turns, run out of the hall*. At the door, "BYE PEOPLE!" Lol. Noel gave me a ._.

*I love missing texts! LOL

So, my day is boring and uneventful, how's yours? ._.

2009-01-13T21:48:00.002+08:00

Late day once again appearing in the week. Snored off the vocab test, more or less much the same as last year. The words werent much of a hinderance considering that most of the words are well enough stored in my personal bank. One more secret to uncover! 3B is horribly boring in the morning as all the interesting people come later! Lol. It's becoming a daily rountine to visit all the express classes before the start of the day. Oh no! Jun Ming's getting all boliao - actually boliao already.

Maths.. bla bla bla. Some stuff about polynomials and equations mixing up my brain juice badly. Screwed up all my connections. Recess. ENGLISH TEST! Wanted to write about the Beauty is only skin deep topic since I've done it before and had a concept map of it somewhere deep inside my bag. Gave it up because i think my standard of english wasn't good enough and besides, many people flunk that topic. Settled for the narative instead, the most predictable and boring of all the available topics. Crapped a clean 2 pages 613 words in total. Ah gosh. Expository essays are "cheem" yet hard to write. The number of words ain't much of a problem but the thinking and brainstorming part caught me.

Anyways, A maths and then finally sickenning Chemistry. Adolphus and Marcus are starting to find me a nuisence. Yeah, I am a noisy chatterbox that can never be shut-ted up by anyone other than the teacher. Lol. YES! Spread the idiocy and eccentric power! Class ended and I had to make a jaunt to the dance studio to settle the Literature class schedule. Worked it out on Fridays 4 to 7 T.B.C . And i Wow-ed at the number of people taking Lit as an extra subject from 3A. Beats the total number of people from B,C,D and E combined. WTF! Total of 15 students.

Went off to the Hall to get ready for the CCA fare, being the captain that everyone loves, I keep everyone company till I got freaking bored THANKS TO THE LENGHTY PRESENTATION. (Yeah, Kamini and gang can never keep their speeches short. hehe. No offence PEACE! ) Could have swore that I can go to the bubbletea shop and have my lunch break there without anyone realising that I'm gone. The whole event sparked off at around 4.30. Tabletennis being so choosy. Miss Lim =d . We've got only like 7 people. AND I'VE CHOSEN MY CUTE CUTE JUNIOR AND ME AS HIS MENTOR! Yeah, wondering who that lucky( cursed )junior right? LOL.

Went for BBT at 6.30! Oh no! Tuition starts at 7.30! Got there in time, way before time in fact. Another session of break cracking active thinking. 90mins of torture isnt enough for a week. Even need me to come back on Saturday to finish the darn compo.

Conclusion/Lesson learnt for the day : CCA fares sucked to the core because of presentations. Lol. Bugged Hoiki on the phone and made her feel so awkward.

2009-01-12T15:59:00.003+08:00

Reading little miss tky's tirade about camps, I, being the great tjm that everyone knows decide to enlighten her. In contrary to what she had written i have did this fabulous and fantastic thing that only I will do. Lol. *Time does not have a grip on me so..

My secondary 3 adventure camp had unfolded into a series of unforgettable collection of memories, topping the list of camps that I've been to since the start of my camp frenzy. It sparked off with a horrible 3-hour drive that had me digesting the fact that Kota Tinggi was 3 hours away from Dunman. There, we had our first lunch which had me mocking the atrocity of the food standards.

Following that was the lake rifting that coerced us into brainstorming to put together the best rift. Our rift worried us a little when it first hit the water surface as it was partially submerged. Afterwhich, sailed away smoothly. The next activity was "Indiana Jones" which we played less violently compared to the previous year according to Mr Tang. The impressive activity had us captivated and spellbounded for hours until the instructions had to cease the event due to time constrain.

"Euphoria" hit us with crippling strength when we were told that we were going to stream down a river caked in mud. It made our shoes look like chocolate buns and our socks dyed brown. The enthusiasm spiraled to a lowly, do-for-the-sake-of-doing mood.

Then, it was dinner where we all sat down peacefully to do a "makan" cheer, A.k.a the shortest cheer. the food was not that bad this time round but still did not agreed with me, maybe because I am too adjusted to a huge spread in Singapore, that spoilt me. The night walk had the cohort breaking down into 12 groups and then further streaming the students into groups of 2. Me and Chris formed the deux to challenge the mysterious aura veiling the forest.

It proved to be a breeze and many people found it disappointing. Supper was then chained together with lights out.

Day 2 blasted off bright and sunny with morning callisthenics and a hearty breakfast. The instructors gave us a navigational challenge presenting us only a map and compass. I did not quite get the gist of it as I was not really following the chronological order of the events. It continued into the afternoons and the hype escalated to a trek to the waterfall but before that, we had an unsatisfying meal of instant noodles. It tasted atrocious, partly because I added too much flavouring into it (sorry).

The journey began, taking us into the sacred forest ruled by the leeches! The tedious hike took alot out of the members in the class but we persisted and finally, presented before us was a waterfall, standing not so magnificiantly as I had expected it to be; a minute version of the Nigara falls. What a disappointment but what mattered was the fun-filled hike which had way outweighted the significance of the waterfall itself.

When we got back to the campsite, the brightly litted blue sky had already turned grey. All of us had a refreshing shower and dinner before preparing for the campfire. Just when we all settled down and had the fire burning brilliantly and radiantly in the cold nocturnal atmosphere, it started to pour (Aww)! Nonetheless, the campfire resumed in the canteen where the different classes showcased their painstakingly put together performance. Our class had put together a human advertisement which had a strong 320 viewers. I believed that it contributed to the sales of London choco rolls and cambery chocolate. With that, the day came to a pleasant close.

The last and final day of the camp was a mere one hour presentations of feelings and thoughts compiled together by all the classes. A prize presentation also revealed 3F as the best class.

Best of all, this camp had forged a bond between us; people who we once been strangers to are now what we call friends. The various characters present in the class, from Ronald whom i teased during the camp because of his innocence and ignorance, to HoiKi who redefined the meaning of "Cute". We all are put together as a class, 3B. As for our beloved Mr Tang who had been our personal photographer for the past 3 days and the many people - Beeyan, our ever so glorious sun, Amanda, Felicia and Debbie, Queen of cuteness, Hoi Ki, monotonous Kenneth, moodswinging Adolphus, Steady and composed Chris and Marc- who have to put up with my idiocy and eccentric behaviour, a gargantuan Thank you! Everyone else that had put in a remarkable effort in this camp to make it a huge success, it had been great, Kota Tinggi Secondary 3 Adventure camp 2009! 3 Cheers for everyone!

2008-12-26T11:58:00.002+08:00

Okay as everyone can tell. it's been almost a month since my last update. Well, partially due to my hectic december life compared to november which was sick dota playing. Now, going out more often and having more fun then usual, yeah.

Let's start with the start of this month. 2nd to 9th dec. The Taiwan trip was quite of a surprise thingy but didn't felt the edge though. Normally before a holiday, i'll be jumping up and down, frequently asking if the day was nearing or so. Something special for this is that I was immune to everything, maybe it's because of the country. Didn't really have a thing for that country. My sister was still going crazy though. that frenzy lasted through out the whole holiday for her.

Then the first day of the whole event. Bus ride. How boring yeah? Read on,'cause i'll explain why thats the best thing of the whole holiday. lol.We went to the night market for dinner and ate the mee sua. In fact the whole tour group dine there even though its suppose to be a free and easy night for food. Smells nice, taste horrible. Then there was a strangely attractive tone which i was not pleasantly surprised with.

*Garbage truck passes by. VERY attractive tone.*

My sister : What's that sound?
My mum : *turns* Garbage truck.
Dad *._.*

Loved the first day hotel. 2nd day. Hurray! More bus rides. 2h to the Bullet train station and I got my first Twilight series book there! Spent the next 45mins in the bullet train and read like 50 over pages. *Addictive oO* VEry. Then the day continued. Stupid temples and stuff. That continued till the 4th day. Then it was dinner and stuff with another family of 4. The table arrangement was that we were to sit with that family, a family that I've been noticing even before the flight. They has a girl named Victoria and a boy Marcus. 12 and 15 respectively. Interesting life they have. Noticed them not because of anything else but because Marcus is kinda mentally challenged. Okay, now i sound sort of a sadist uh ? ._.

We had farm stay that night. Not those disgusting farm la but it was great. Atmosphere was perfect. Not so classy, and not so dull. Enough to sastisfy me.

Then the 6th day. Yeah! Themepark! Turns out to be a bore. All of the rides were not REALLY very trilling. The most scary one was the G5. Go search wikipedia. "The Diving machine" Fuck. My heart almost left me. Made quite alot of new friend, not my age though.

7th day was theme park as well followed by a series of sickenning temples. And yeah. I met Delia when shopping for a present for Sheryl! And speaking of that:

1) I forgot to take a picture with her *WTF!*
2) I forgot to mention how sucky this supposingly "Shopping trip" was for everyone in my family. I'll get to that.

Shopping. Taiwan wasn't as cheap as expected. The stuff were, err, maybe abit cheaper then singapore. Still my mum took the excuse which my dad would probably would not have accepted in Singapore. holiday! Went with 4 bags. Came home with 7, excluding the hand laugages. Exceeded the maximum weight for the flight check in. LOL

Day 8. Free and Easy for the first half of the day so i slept in the hotel till 12 while i mum and sis raid the streets. checked out at 1 then waited at the lobby till 2 before headding for the airport with the tour group. Home sweet home.

Next there was the crazy fun orientation camp! OMG bryan was such a great FA. A million times better then Uncle Wee from the LTC camp. He's the only negatie factor in the LTC . I know many people won't agree with me though. First day was just Bmt and Otl. Skipped the Bmt part partially because i didnt like it. had tabletennis training anyway. Took the opportunity. LOL After lunch was all the activities. That was not so bad until the mass game. Command and Conquer, I think. Had to crawl on the mud in the field. WTF.

Dinner and then OTL. I was one of the station master so i didnt got the gist of it. Then we had supper and "enjoyed" a long speech by all the departments and Mr Gopal. Wash up after that. What a relief! I took the whole night's sentry duty together with Noel. Didn't want to sleep. lol. Gave up at 4.30. Slept till 5 then waited till 6 before follow the crowd to the parade ground. And because i was in great raid. I can skip morning PT. YEAH! Lol. Games was no good. Cause i didnt participate T_T station master again.

Ended at 10, a little late for Victory march. Walked all the way till Pasir ris park and then to the station there. To the Mrt station it was. Then Kembagan for my group, 1G. The Jerry can was really heavy. Feel bad for the 2 senior FA that had to take over carrying it for me. I freaking hate the sun. Sorry. No worries. I'll resist it on the day of the camp! We went to Esplanade after that and then had to blindfold me and fix the puzzle. Funny game name. Obviously mismatched. lol

Back to School and then Grad night. Dance and dance till around 6 then went down to watch some parade march. My head was abit off track at that time so i didnt bother what it was. Area clean up and home sweet home =D

As for the other events. I'll update the next time. *Don't know when the next time will be though. >< lol

2008-11-27T23:50:00.002+08:00

Ah! The insignificant deeds of the humble people buzzing around their daily chores, doing things that are never recognised. How ironic is it? Good deeds are never remembered while the bad ones are carved into the hearts of others. Why? That little good in you, is not bright enough. It was never bright enough.

It has became a torture talking to me; My daily routine has been the same since the start of this holiday. The game is practically taking over my life. Now i have people hating me over the game. Simply because of a petty skirmish. Is it worth it? 20years down the road, you look back and fondle upon the memories that have been embedded deep inside you by a friend. "I hate you". Common phrase, casually used. To some, it may not be just as simple as a casual remark. To me, it means alot.

Yet to others, it was never a problem, shouting the same line over and over again. Not a pant or hesitation. The people around you, feels the same. If not, how would they feel?

Pause.

Worst then a war and deeper then the abyss. I feel. It's not worth it. I hate you

2008-11-19T17:07:00.002+08:00

Recently nothing much has been going on except going to school for some Sec 1 orientation camp meets. And then after that would be bubbletea cause i soooooooooooooooooooo miss it. Then making fun of glen and went on to the void decks to play truth or dare with Suhaila, Qistina, Qian Hui and glen. Lol

And Yeah! My wish came true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got into 3B. Well, just looking at the name list alone, i can tell next year would be a million times better then this year.At the very least, Sean's in my class!!!!!!!!! Which means more dota. lol

Lastly, I won't be seeing much of the people I hate lol. And I'm dying of boredom at home, so much that i've been thinking of charging boredom for attempt murder. zz

So if anyone has anything do call me along.

2008-11-10T16:02:00.002+08:00

Torture. Impression. Pride. Hate. Withdrawal.

Effects and everlasting scars laying abate in memories. Why teenagers are always trying to impress others? They hurt their enemies and sometimes friends as well. It's has always been a torture seeing others suffer and giving aid to them is nothing more then looking down on them. So which way is gonna work ? No matter what aspect you look at it from. You have hurt someone and it will remain a fact.

The victor will then prance in joy, despising people he deem as inferior. His enemies grow and hate breed faster then bacterias in a dense coated land. He bask in the glory of the people who gave him the support, so much that he tends to forget who had helped him. Is he superior? Or is his enemy just inferior to him?

Soon, perils befall on him, damaging his reputation while others watch close in on his downfall. He then struggle to survive in the plain evil of society, doing everything and anything he can to keep himself going. If all that fails, he will withdraw, withdraw from the people he once called friends. And the cycle continues; Till the Earth is so filled with people that hates each other. Neighbours who torture each other; commuters which cause uneasiness to others and so on.

It reminds me. Now, for everything you do, I will remember; For everything you've done to me and hurl at me, I put it on hold, till it fills me so full that I threaten to blow. Things comes with a reason, but yet, people are just misusing it as a factor to take revenge.

Do you need a reason?

2008-11-06T21:24:00.002+08:00

Tagged by tky last month ._. *Just saw it LOL

Copy and paste to your own journal, erase my answers, and add your own.
Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following questions.
They have to be real places name and/or objects, but nothing made up.
Try to use different answers if the person you got this from has the same initial.
You can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.
Have fun with it!

MY NAME --- Jun Ming =D

1. Four letter word ; Jade.

2. Boy name ; John.

3. Girl name ; Jun Yi.

4. Occupation ; Janitor.

5. Colour ; Jade Green.

6. Something you wear ; Jewelry

7. Beverage ; Juice !!! =D

8. Food ; Jackfruit

9. Place ; Japan

10. Something found in bathroom ; Jacuzzi. YOU MUST BE FREAKING RICH

11. Reason for being late ; Jaywalking ._. *That just came up.

12. Something you shout ; Jackass =D

13. Font ; Janson (LAG)

14. TV show ; Jhoom India . NO SPICE OF DISCRIMINATION HERE. *I only descriminate against cheena ><

15. Song Title ; Jolene by dolly parton & white stripes

That was tough ._. *I love google!
Now pass this brain-cracking quiz to 10 people.

-Pearl ; Future 3A should be smart.
-Glen ; Looks smart enough. LOL
-Sheryl Teo ; UBER SMART =D
-Zhiteng ; Might not be able to complete LOL *jk
-Xin Ying ; Got resources =D
-Pira ; POWDERFUL ENGLISH!!
-Fiona ; Book Worm! =D Comfirm can.
-Vanessa ; Sleeping Buddha!!! You might need his help with it. V's hard LOL
-Jun Yi ; Good luck with it =D
-Jun Han ; Don't COPY mine. LOL

2008-11-06T20:27:00.002+08:00

First thing to say, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAIYUN!!!!!

Here's a cake for you.

okay, so updates. I just realised that Dota is taking up (7.5/24 x 100)% of my life. Yeah too lazy to count. I just have nothing better to do. And, tabletennis is a freaking slack CCA, the other CCAs have like a dozen trainings over but tabletennis is only starting in Dec. LOL.

Garena name has turned colourful : .|cff7BBEF7Cold

Sec 1 Orientation camp is starting their meetings and I'm still spending alot of time dota-ing. Worst thing is play so long still can't match up to Garena standard, often feeding ._. Skipped the 1D barbeque and then heard that there'll be a LTC barbeque.

And yayayayayayaya! Wish came true, got a new phone =D LOL.

Okay, end of story. That's just how boring it gets.

2008-10-31T16:17:00.003+08:00

I wonder about almost everything under the sun. Now it comes to my attention, why do others pit themselves against you or you pit yourselves against others? And then there is it again, what is it about? Competition of the greatest? Or just another show of great regret after a matter of hours?

And then there is times where I curse people, curse them to there bitter downfall. They challenge and they go against all laws of nature to win. Just because you're good, you flaunt it to the world, the eyes of all humanity. Does it bring you pleasure, honour, contentment? There's the other kind of human. The ones that cast you a grin when you have fallen.

Most people would probably see them as people they would like to hate. What if there's a veil over it? And you cannot tell what's right from wrong? You don't know what's planned for you and who hates you or love you. In truth, you know who hates you, and who doesn't. It's just a matter if you want to accept the fact or not.

As i continue on with my avalanch of words, they are probably enjoying themselves. Then tonight,the bbq, once again, I chose to reject society for I know, nothing good would come out of it. I'll be nothing more then a plain piece of transparent statue. Sometimes, It's better to do things on your own, no one to hamper you, no one to hinder your progress. And when your ready to face reality, just open the door.

The holidays would probably be that time. The time to rest and reflect on what I've done and what I would like to clean up the mess i created. Well, for one fact, their nothing more then a passing cloud in my life....

2008-10-30T20:23:00.002+08:00

Yeah, as you can see new Skin!!! *Congrats myself*

Once again nothing about love. All about the beauty of nature and preserving it. Also representing freedom and everything that it shows. But something's still wrong with it. Can't seem to see the song list and then whole structure seems abit too cramped up.

time to work on it again ._.

Well, back to work.

2008-10-29T17:26:00.002+08:00

-Boring day-

I doubt you'll wanna read about my day today.

11-12.30 chinese tuition
12.30-6 dota
6-? TV

nice? Short and sweet LOL

Okay nothing much about today, people organising things as a small group, call me along. But if the group's too bad (above 7? ) then i don't think i'll be going ><

PIRAPIRA, I'm still waiting for some sort of outing LOL

2008-10-28T20:01:00.003+08:00

Holiday has a new name! Hellidays

Yeah, all thanks to parents and a little dash of relatives inclusive of wrong timing and place. Com hours have been restrained to 7.5h per day. Sad uh? ._.

Freaking bad things happen during hellidays. My mum called me selfish; my dad called me a liar. What else? My aunt added fuel to fire and my sister just had to join in. Sometimes i really wonder what am i doing to my life. Things never go my way nor do they ever favour the situation.

I was starting to like my parents and they just had to dash every single hope left for them by screaming their heads off and pushing their authority around. And then he said he was "boiling". Great, get hot and burn. I don't really care anymore. Next year shall prove everything.

And then there will be the X factor and some subversive idiot will go against the flow and ruin everything else. ruined for me and my holidays. It no longer seems luxurious nor peaceful. It turns into a war front where u have ur mask on everyday to convince others that your happy.

Do you smile when u get scolded? Do you play along even when it really stabs u inside? Well, I say no. I can't smile when I am getting railed at nor can i pretend everything is alright. I can ignore and avoid but I'll never laugh with you.

I'll start sticking out to avoid, everything that haunts that single piece of mind and clarity within me. Put on an euphoric smile. An accursed one.

I've never be able to laugh with anyone. I guess every hope of doing so will have to wait.

2008-10-24T18:49:00.003+08:00

School's out! Yeah and that's a freaking good thing. Firstly, next year is sec 3 year and second , I'll never see 2E ever again =D Okay, maybe it's now no life dota-ing but at least I won't need to go to school again right? lol. First day of holiday was okay for me. Let's see how it carries on, we got the trainer's camp for Sec 1 orientation!! YEAH!!!! I predict FUNFUNFUN. lol

Okay, so today was nothing more then dota and sleep, the past days i pangseh-ed Sheryl on accident. Do note the accident, Sheryl >< lol. Level position sucks to the core and I'll never be able to get into 3B T_T sadded. I'll try thoough. AND I WANT HISTORY NEXT YEAR!!!! If no history , i guess i'll be seeing naughty tky next year LOL.

Past events, trying to get into the crazy fever, i got a real fever instead for playing too much. And it's all yongjie's fault. He got me addicted to dota. So if i ever wanna quit, I'll look for him, and if that doesn't work , I'll hook him like pudge and tear him inside out like lion =D Too much dota sorry lol.

As for L.A.B no upcoming events ._. I'm getting bored here. No life dota-ing is not for me. C'mon Pira!!! Organise something and i wanna rip some songs off ur com =D Tabletennis practises coming too and Caleb freaking got into tabletennis lol. Still candidate for school team somemore. Waseh, he made Liqian feel jealous *jkjk* . Lol

and the latest events, Liqian has been bestowed the title "Stfu" and yongjie "shutupanddie". Junhan have been promoted to "youbetterownoryoudie" and the rest have no titles lol. I got the "zz" title. So in this very post, I suggest that people who are about to start dota-ing to dump the disc and never touch it again or become like me oOoOoO

As for the freaking report book, Gave it to my mum and i still dunno wad she'll do to me ._. (She said "I'll think about it") bad thing uh? She'll give me perma stun and then poof, no more com for the rest of the holidays(guessing). Nothing of that sort much happen *Godbless*

And for everyone in my new class/school , HI EVERYONE , PREPARE FOR THE SLACKER YEAR OF ME LOL. Mrs Ang's staying in our school but won't be teaching sec 3 rofl.

Wow, Super long post ; but that's just because I didn't post in a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time right? That's for pearl Lol.

okay, that's all LOL.

2008-10-18T15:57:00.002+08:00

Since Jm is soooooooooooooooooooooooo freaking bored today, I've decided to do the quizz Tky left me =D

1. Who was your last sms from?
KaiYun

2. What do you love most in your room?
My Pillow

3. Do you prefer KFC or Macdonalds more?
Mac .

4. Your current relationship status?
Single

5. Does your crush like you back?
No crush oO

6. What is your current mood?
Half dead ; Bored

7. Whats your mum's name?
YW, Why ask ?

8. What colour shirt are you wearing?
White.

9. What was the last thing you drank?
Water =D Plain and not sweet. Lol

10. If you could go back in time to change something, would you?
I'll change everything.

11. Have a crazy side?
Nope, I'm more boring than anyone can imagine.

12. Ever had a near death experience?
Nah ._.
`
13. Something you do alot?
Sleep.

14.Angry at anyone?
What do you think ? =D

15. Do you wanna see somebody right now?
Nope. Currently searching for a entertainer.

16. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Too lazy to do that.

17.Last time you cried?
Cant-remember-08

18. Who are you talking to right now?
The omi-silent WALL

19. Do you have dimples?
Nope.

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite gender?
oO Shhh.. It's a secret.

21. What do you usually order from starbucks?
I visit kopitiam.

22. What's your biggest secret?
It's a secret . * ._.

23. Favourite movie ?
Final Fantasy 7 !!!!!!!!!!! OMFGGGGGGGGGG

24. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows?
I watch the new version of powerpuff girls. The one where they do Oral sex. *jkjk

25. What are you eating or drinking at the moment ?
Si bei fong.

26. What do you think is irritating right now ?
My mind.

27. What's your favourite smell?
FFS, Why would i wanna know that ?

28. Describe your life in 2 words, what would it be?
Ruined and disorganised.

29. Have you ever kissed in the rain?
Nope.

30. Do you like rain?
Always, Duh.

31. What are you thinking of now?
DotA . *oooooooooooooooooooo

2008-10-16T14:17:00.002+08:00

Exams periods are over but thing is, no one is fully enjoying the post-exams periods. Days grow longer and emotions run high. I doubt anyone is happy with their results, well at least, not me. Got really sick when i received my results. Envy consume me and showed itself, can't stop it from happening can i? All these latest happening had thrown me into discreet silence. Quickily turning into furious withdrawal.

People around me don't care, they go about with a smile plastered on their faces, not showing a sign of regret. I envy these people, how they throw aside everything and live life as it is. Just how did they? And just a symbol of indistinct hatred. I hold grudges and remember them for life. I have enemies, but no friends.

Today was a perfect example, an example of insensitivity and shame. Sean was pestering me for an answer. Couldn't find anything to serve as a white elephant and i am adamant about my stand. For starters, Caleb was right about the "J" letter. Everything in the school is affecting my well-being as a whole, only when i'm not around "them", I feel save, comforted with my atmosphere and nothing else. That's the whole reason, you make me feel like an outcast.

After school, I had the worst event of my day, totally wrecking my mood. LAB sorta abandoned me just because i declined an invitation to TM. I just didn't feel right going there with all these heartbreaking happenings occuring. Maybe my results are not that bad to you, but to me, it was already a mood wrecker.

And then i patiently waited for Sheryl, like a clean 5minutes, and she came out to tell me to wait again ._. I got so pissed off, I went off straight without waiting. Ffs, why do this to myself? Humiliating myself or wad?

a special note for Sean : Not everything is your fault, and not everything you muct know. If you don't understand what I'm writing, it's fine because I have never intended for you to understand.

2008-10-06T19:55:00.002+08:00

I was right. Today's paper was tough. And then to add to it there was somewhat a "betrayal" to me. Doing no good at all. Kinda mooden after the chinese paper. It's not because of the paper but rather someone. Yeah, it has always been the same person anyway. So why care huh? Well, simple answer for a simple question. It's becoming an obsession. Addictive, unwilling to let go. Days no longer pass the same way it passes me by.

Well, I had always have relationships problems. Since I won't be seeing much next year anyway, I don't really care now. I just let it go on. Enough of that, let's move on to the papers.

Chinese was tough for the cloze passage, which unsurprisingly ruined the whole paper. I doubt I'll be getting anywhere near a pass with such a performance. The open ended questions were merely just "copy and paste" from the passage, but some of the "tougher" ones I added in some of the Junming essence ;p

Didn't go down for recess, spent the whole time in class staring into space, got mistaken for emo-ing ( Actually yeah. ) but I didn't ask for attention. Nevertheless, the Geography paper. Did the map reading and it took me like 30mins? ._. After that with the remainding 45mins which i was left after minusing the section A and B, chionged the section C. I managed to crap quite alot and then with the help of some mindmap, gave a full sentenced question.

Total of 9pages. Yeah, sometimes too many papers might not mean a good thing. I'm afraid of that too. Now, it's all up to the goodwill of lady luck to smile on me. =D Just hope I can acquire a pass thats all. Contented and pleased I will be.

Science paper tomorrow. Good luck studying and for maths, i don't think it will be that easy as to Ace it. So, study hard people. =D

2008-10-03T20:46:00.002+08:00

MT paper 1 was somewhat average. Didn't find it hard. With the handy dandy Dictionary ! =D I know my compo have quite a number of mistakes already, but not as bad as Yongjie. He lent his fren his dictionary and never got it back =D Lol at you yj =D After the paper was recess and then Literature.

Literature wrote a total of 7 pages. Wanted to do question 2 and 3 but ended up doing 1 and 3. Didn't had enough time. I did question 3 first and managed to write about 4 pages. Then looked at the time. Left 40mins. Hence, decided on question 1 which was easier and shorter then question 2. Question 1 i could have wrote like 5 pages but didn't have enough time therefore settled it at the 3rd page. The whole essay was like rushing for an end. I don't really think I'll get good marks with what I currently wrote.

Just hope that the markers are linient. Show some MERCY! =D So thats all for today. Next paper will be a killer for me. GEOGRAPHY. My most hated subject. I would have been lucky if I passed this time round. Lol! =D

2008-10-02T19:48:00.002+08:00

Busy mugging yeah guys? Just ended the English compo and situational. Kinda okay but dunno wad the teacher thinks. Yeah, its all up to the dam teachers to grade it. According to Mrs Ang, the teacher marking this time round is rather strict. And my format for the situational! I missed a line! ._. -2 marks just for a simple/careless/mindboggling mistake. WTF!

just hope that the paper tmr ( Cheena ) would be as easy as today. Yeah, easy but i got careless mistake ._. My goals are simple. Cheena : pass . Maths : A1 Science : A1Geog : B4 History : B3 Literature : A1 English : A2 Art : Pass HomeEcons : C5 thats all =D Get all of this and I'll be VERY VERY contented. So fairy godmother give me those results!!

Anyways, After the paper, went to bubble tea with Sheryl and Caleb Mei! but ended up taking away. Ate under the void deck, Sheryl made alot of noise with the "I hate Desmond" And the the " I love Desmond" thingy. Sheryl, You're a hell of a noise machine =D After awhile I realise that my happy, peaceful after could be spent in a better way. Therefore, homed. And you know what comes next.

And i caught a couple of people red-handed ( not studying ). ZONGHAN,SEAN,JUNHAN! Muahahahaha. Naughty naughty. tsktsk. As i type, Sean is still busy playing. Lol. Now my head's giving me a hard time. Gonna sleep first till 12 before getting up to study lit =D . Irregular hours. I know. Dun ask why.

okay, good luck to every who is mugging out there and if you're hoping for a song dedication, tune in to J.M Fm. Pick the songs yourself on your right hand corner. =D dun have just leave me a tag!!! =D

2008-09-30T15:05:00.002+08:00

Long time since i blogged yeah? Lol! And Yongjie found my blog ( I predict alot of Sheryl rumour )

School days are pretty much over, and on with exams. Weekends were spent revising geography although i didn't really concentrate well. Yeah, distractions =D Their everywhere! Today Miss Osman didn't come =D She gave work, no one cared. Lol! Another prediction, We are going to get scolded.

Mugging for exams no fun. Must have a balance. And to clear up things about what i said in my previous post, I didn't say we shouldn't study, just that, having 1 examination for every stage is enough ( E.g. PSLE, O levels, A levels ). NOT THAT WE SHOULDN'T STUDY as mistaken by ZT.

Okay Great! Nothing more to talk about. So Yeah, super short post. GOOD LUCK FOR THE COMING EXAMS =D

2008-09-27T17:53:00.002+08:00

If you had One Wish, What would it be? I came across this yesterday. It rather hit me hard, leaving me thinking of what it would be. Well, some people would simply answer " To instantly get rich." That's just simplistic thinking and wishful dreaming. Why not wish for something more meaningful? Till now, I can't find something that would make me truly wish for.

These few days merely passed me by quickly. Nothing much except the usual. Just because it is the exams, it doesn't mean that everything is going down the drain and everyone digging their heads hard into books. Lifeless, even if it is just for the few weeks. I know it's wrong saying this but I think that exams shouldn't be exams. It doesn't prove anything. All it prove is who is better then who. What's the point of that? Getting the other guy devastated? Or just plain improvement?

Well, leave that question for someone else. Super short post for this week. There are more things that I ought to do, like all ordinary secondary school pupils. I'm not special, neither are you. So what makes you so special, so special as to stand out and think of yourself above everyone else?

Anyways, good luck to everyone who is mugging now. =D Peace out.

2008-09-24T19:31:00.002+08:00

In Response to Xinying's Quizz =D I present to you...

THE QUIZZ LOL

1. Who was the first person to tag you?
Vanessa
2. How do you think of that person?
Okay, energetic and very blur.
3. Do you eat alot of fast food?
Yeah.
4. Have you kissed anyone in 2008?
Nope
5. Do you eat candy on a regular basis?
Nope
6. What is your 5th sent message about?
I've deleted it ._.
7. Who was the last person you eat with?
XinYing,Pearl,QianHui?
8.Who was the last person you took photo with?
L.A.B
9. When ordering sushi what do you get?
Fried Maki!
10. Who was the last person you sat with?
HeYuan
11.What were you doing at 10am?
Recess =D
12.Have you change this summer?
Just a tiny weeni bit.
13. Whats the last beverage you last spilled on yourself?
F&N Orange, and it made me burp =D
14. Where is the place you want to be now?
Sleeping on my bed.
15. When was the last time you cry?
Can't remember.
16. Whats your favorite song for the moment?
Check Yes Juliet - We The Kings
17. What were you doing at 11pm yesterday?
Wondering in zZz.. Land
18. Who's near you?
Grandma, Aunt
19. What were you doing at 5am in the morning?
Getting ready to bathe.
20. What is bothering you now?
Coming Exams oO
21.Who was the last person who talked to you on the phone?
Benjamin
22.Whose house did you go to last?
XinYing (Video making)
23. Who honestly knows everything about you?
No one.
24. Who broke your heart?
No one so far.
25. Honestly, do you love someone very much?
Yeah, But it still remains a mystery to you =D
26. Who was the last person who told you that they love you?
Copper, It spoke in doggy language.
27. Are you friends with the last person you kissed?
I've not kissed anyone so far.
28. Are there any parts of your body which hurts?
None.
29. In the supermarket which thing caught your attention first?
Cashier . hehe
30. How cool do you think you are?
Extremely unpopular ._.
31. Drugs are..
Part of me, I can't live without them *Medical Drugs Of course*
32. What do you hate most?
People that are 2-sided, extremely sarcastic, emotional range of a spoon and always betraying others
33.Who was the first person to text you this morning?
YongJie.
34.What is the first thing you did in this morning?
Rub my eyes oO
35. Who last missed call your phone?
Pearly White =D
36.What was the last mistake you made?
Answering an answer in Mrs Ang's class.
37. What are you listening now?
Where'd you go - Fort Minor
38. Who is the last person of the opposite sex that you had a conversation with?
Grandma
39. Who is the last person that called you?
Pira Pira Para Para .
40. Is there something you want to tell someone special?
Nope. I'm an introvert remember?

Pearl, Pira, JunYi, Fiona, Vanessa, Sheryl Mei!, Stephenie, Glen, HoiKi, JunHan, ZhiTeng and lastly, YOU!

Okay, Regretted going to school today, should have just skipped. First period was suppose to be Journal writing but with exams nearing, they passed it. Then 2hours of Mrs Khoo. Spent the time checking other people's blog and then last 45mins then start doing. Nothing much about that. Off to recess with Sheryl and Stephenie, had chicken rice and Sheryl got stepped on the foot by some NT pupil. Wanted to comment about it but since there was a teacher taking charge of the situation, I left it to him. sheryl didn't looked pissed at all, I think she complained just for the fun of it. LOL!

English lesson reading the piece of paper that she handed out a few days ago. Finished Act4 Scene1 before getting on with the paper. Laid in my seat so comfortably drawing something else. Thank god she didn't see me doing something else in her class or I'm a dead man. After her lesson was MT, chinese teaecer know I wasn't listenning but she didn't care. Kinda guessed that she had given up on our class already. But at least she took sometime to ask me to complete the video ASAP. Lol! Lit lesson was reading the piece of paper again. End of class.

Supposed to be "teaching" Sheryl Mei! maths but then she go toilet 10mins, I go toilet 5mins, don't need teach le. Wasted some time till 2.30 before leaving school for tuition. Lol! got there early and started class without JunHan. Made fun with the messages i sent him. And another amazing thing happened today. We've completed the whole Geog syllabus in 1h 30mins. OMFG!!

Nearing exams, study hard people! =D

2008-09-22T20:05:00.002+08:00

Cold and horrible day. All includes the package of History lessons, assembly whereby Mr beancurb made a fool of himself and maths lessons which was spent explaining things. Got insulted when correcting something wrong during science lesson and then there was the boring afternoon spent computering. There. I made a new word, computering. Lol

Assembly right from the start of the day woke everyone up I guess. Ms tan made everyone laugh. Or should i say Mr Beancurb. Then Aaron was labelled a french fries and Science lesson was where I got insulted. Didn't think much of it as the insult came from some insensate freak. Mr Lim went on with his lesson and forgot to print me a copy of the paper. Till now. Recess then music, great performance put up by Huijie group. Yeah, I mean it but stef group was pure copy ._. The lights and slams were from our play. Lol.

History was practically a dozen of sleeping pills. Didn't bring the notes but managed to get myself listenning to the lesson. After that Mrs Ang's lesson spent doing a compre passage. Wasn't really that hard but the vocab behind, I couldn't find any words to replace them. Maths lesson was beyond the mark of boredom made by any human that existed. Okay, maybe not that bad, exageration yeah? I'm just saying that because someone put the wrong label on me. Explaination and explaination.

After school, went home to take a bath and eat before heading to Xinying's house to make the Wuhan video. Same as usual but not as much fun as before cause we don't wanna mess up someone elses house. If it was out doors, I bet they'll go wild LOL! L.A.B meeting tmr for group study, hopefully mac again =D ?

2008-09-19T18:42:00.002+08:00

Okay, Yesterday was only the beginning of my 2 downfalls. My art got a D and then i seriously think that my Oral was a total failure. I had huge problems reading the damn passage and then the conversation. I hardly said 10sentences and then I was done. Mostly because I couldn't say anything much/sensible. Chinese is not my thing. C'mon ._.

Anyways, today started off fine with Science and then PE whereby we had to copy this unnaturally written essay provided by our teacher. It's like so artificial. I'm not trying to insinuate anyone or anything so don't get me wrong. After PE was recess and continued by maths where we were given a super hard past year paper. I guess, everyone's gonna fail this year, yeah? ._. Hardly got to the next page and it was time up already, aww.. It's good news to me, as I dislike seeing someone =D

Then Mrs ang's lesson was about Lit again. Well, I named it Mrs Ang's lesson because her lesson is never predictable, mostly because she can instantly switch between English and Lit. Shylock, Portia and Bassanio today. Antonio didn't appear much just because he made only 3 speech in the whole of act 4 scene 1. Short and sweet, simple and significant. Okay enough of Lit.

Art was horrible. I managed to scram through my snake and secured a D ._. Not bad for a 20minutes job. So let's all do maths. 40marks in 20minutes. 40/20 = 2 , 100/2 = 50. OMFG! It takes only 50minutes to get full marks for Art. ._. Sorry being really random and stupid here. Lol! Anyways, curse art to the depths of hell LOL! But most of all, I feel sorry for Ng JiaHao, he did put in effort, much more then me at the very least, and he got the same grade as me.

After school had Oral and i think i got ._. marks. Met up with L.A.B members again and went to Macdonalds on separate intervals. They took my bag and went off without me LOL! Played tabletennis with Xian De, first match i beat him 11-8, well because the bat he was using didn't have any spin. The second match was a trashing, 11-4, with him as the victor. He got his bat back. ><

Then Mac till 5 before leaving. That marked the end of my day =D

2008-09-18T19:38:00.002+08:00

Okay, I'm dead for 2 things. Firstly, I have not started on my Art piece yet, at which I am only going to begin at 8.30. The past attempts to do it failed horribaly. the second thing is that my chinese Oral is tomorrow. It would be a miracle if i pass. And since passing my Chinese Common test was already a miracle, another miracle is hard to appear. If it was that easy, it won't be called a miracle. Lol! Here I am blogging instead of studying/doing my art. =D

Today at school was much the same, other than CT period which Mr Lim actually taught maths! OMG! After CT was maths and then English, which Mrs Ang took great care to teach us Literature instead. Recess followed and then Chinese or Science lesson, couldn't remember the chronology of it. For chinese, we did Gong Han, I wrote extremely short compared to the others. Wasn't paying much attention in class. And for science, we did some worksheets. Sometimes i really wish Mr Lim would change the style of teaching as 9months of the same thing can really bore me. He knew I was doing other things in his class but then he ignore ._. Yeah, I'm trying to seek attention.=D

CME was about Paying it forward. Well for the benefit of Sean, of which he did not understand a thing about the video, I shall explain. The story shows how people do a good deed and then the other person passes the deed on. The boy took the message from the teacher seriously, leading to the unexpected complain of his mother to his teacher. About the part where by the lawyer gave a guy a set of keys to his brand new car, it was also paying it forward as someone did a good deed for his daughter. Found it really unrealistic as who would wanna give a clean 100k to someone else? Rofl! Certainly not realistic.

Than went home in 3. Met Sheryl at the bus stop and she took 17 when she could have took 3 ._. So bad! didn't have any L.A.B gathering today. My life is boring, I know ._.

2008-09-17T19:10:00.002+08:00

Aww. I screwed up my Home Econs practical ._. Not expecting to get anything near an A. Lol! Yeah, my Lasagne outer layer didn't seemed edible and then the fillings were so disgusting that I didn't even bother to try my dish. Maybe it's because of the ingredients used? Onions and mushrooms? I couldn't take a bite but thanks to Wilfred, I managed to "dispose" it into him =D See, win-win situation. I fill his stomach, he help me clean my dish Lol! Than Journal writing's topic was kinda boring, we've done that topic at least 3 times over already. Anyway, I tried to write as long as I can for it and successfully wrote 3 pages =D

After recess, was Literature again. All the "small" talk on Shylock and Antonio. The plot was rather interesting, depicting how Balthazar (Portia) fought for the case. The part after Antonio made a soooooooooo touching speech, Bassanio said Portia would be second compared to him. Lol! Chinese next! More or less the same thing, which I did not understand. And yeah, we got back our report cards today ._. Results were rather undesirable. Last term was horrible. Hardly took out the book to study, well, all thanks to DotA ._.

English was copying and explaining only. Nothing much to say about that. After school, like every other day of this week, we went to bubble tea =D Ate the same thing, and then went to the playground again. Happy Birthday Edmond and Chee Siong (JiSiongRou)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Threw flour and ice at them, wanted to add some sauce and throw at them de but scared their shirts dirty.

Went home in 3 and end of the day =D

2008-09-16T20:40:00.002+08:00

Didn't feel quite right in class today. Got headache and then felt really stuffy during lessons. Adding to that, we had boring lessons, including Project work and Geography. Really felt like sleeping but managed to persist till end of the day. Surprisingly i was able to go all the way to bubble tea and had lunch with L.A.B. Guess this is the power of true friendship?

Anyways, I just realised that Jian You is a Dog to thaddeus, like he's always supporting/ defending him. That's just my point of view. I just can't stand the way that he argued for him. He made me think wild. Lol! Yeah, as impossible as it seems, i much of deciphered the whole thing. Hehe. I'm talking bad about him here, and i'm expecting a flame rofl. Anyway, just voicing my point of view.

Later after school, actually expected to play tabletennis with xian De and Aloy but I came back to school late. Damn gate! Shut before i could get in. Currently having high temperatures and thinking of getting an MC soon. And now my suck-ass aunt is ranting about some chinese homework that I haven finish. And the headache is acting on me again. Yeah, and i didn't help much at the Dnt area either. Glad to know that some people like Glen and others still know me. Some of my ex classmates shuns me. Guess i seriously got a bad reputation in school.

Once again, hopping that this year would end sooner. Feel like getting rid of my class as a whole. I hate the whole feeling about this. Ah!

*Note : For some reason the white paint colour isn't working. So i have to depend on you to make the words dissappear =D Actually this message is just meant for 1 person, that might be seriously insulted. So, close your eyes and see nothing or hit the red cross at the top right hand side of your screen. On the other hand, I'll try to make that text dissappear =D

2008-09-14T16:11:00.002+08:00

Yeah! Life with L.A.B never seems boring. Even the lowest of times can be better then the best time i spent in class. Sadly, these times never last. Yesterday was great, absolutely. Pira and gang spent half the day running and playing loud music. I doubt anyone felt left out. Well, I didn't so i doubt anyone was left out. I'm the most introvert so yeah. And hey Pira, I'll be looking forward to more of these meetings. I'll drop anything for it.

We ran around the whole block, blasted music of the 2nd floor and then filled ourselves with Mac =D Lol! Thanks to Pira for the big treat. We messed up his house. Sorry on behalf of everyone. Pira did my homework =D Lol! Then at night, watched Harry Potter, didn't really get much of the meaning but still kinda get the idea.

Today was the total contrast of yesterday. It's been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo dull today. No Geog class today, no reasons and then went for another super dull class. Came home much for normal and then on to com again ._. So here I am Blogging some funny things about me again. What a boring life I live, I know ._.

Organise more events and call me along !!!!!!!!!! Go Pira Pira Para Para.

2008-09-12T19:26:00.002+08:00

Just realised that I have a hell lot of things to do. Well starting from my head, to toe and then to my books and my computer. I'm all messed and jumbled up. I'm so disorganised ._. Adding to that, things haven been well, school still sucks and I still miss Wuhan. grades ain't flying high either. No one to talk to in school. Just found out that there are MANY people in my class that betray others (friends) just to stand in the crowd. Yeah, happened to me today, and got rather pissed. Decided not to do anything for the rest of the day, in addition I had people acting pro infront of me, gloating their successes ._. simply revolting.

Anyways, had a extremely filling breakfast and felt like vomitting in school( i was burpping behind people's back ><) Oops. Than science lesson, went through the 3pin plug in brief. Just hoping that the lessons could go much faster. Seriously lagging, and want the year to end fast. Even if i dun go to 3A/B, I at the least, 3C. I'm considering literature anyways. None of the other humanities subject really appeal to me. Than it was PE, played badminton and basketball. And then recess =D Nothing much to me. Maths lesson was a bore, had this dumb quiz again. Always catching me off guard. I think i'm gonna suck again for the next test. Cruel fate, ya?

Then English, Mrs Ang was all over literature again, this time talking about Shylock ( Actually she's been on Shylock for quite sometime now ._.) But guess what? I like the Shylock talk alot! It emphasizes on some of the people in our class. Okay, by the time u read till this point, you ought to have guessed that i'm more or less prejudiced against my class. So what now? I hate it and i'm leaving it. Art was the next in line. I made Copper's head. Its been ignoring me lately. I think he has depression after getting brutally assualted by my uncle. You should have seen, it was like an onslaught. Lol! Then my grandmother remained nonpluss. ._.

Okay then after that went home had chinese tuition again and on to com =D Boring huh? That's my day translated into words =D Going out for dinner is imminent now ._. just because my grandmother didn't cook tonight.

2008-09-11T20:35:00.002+08:00

Okay. My mood is kinda erratic and there's no stop to it. I really think that something is against me. For the exams, i just hope i can get into a triple science class that's all. Feeling sort of nostalgic and sad. I still miss those days when we had fun running all around the hotel corridors. Ah! I know it's getting old but i seriously can't stop thinking about it. I'm starting to fully agree with Mrs Ang, deception in the world, it's roaming all around. The most sincere face can turn into the most sinister face; the kindest soul can turn into the most malevolent soul.

Everything was a lie from the start. I keep emphasizing. Friends are not real and not meant to be trusted. Call me prejudice or whatever you want to call me. It doesn't make a difference does it? Anyways, I really don't like how teachers use their words. They ought to be careful of what they pick and painstakingly pronounce it so that there'll be no misunderstanding. I love lit. Alot. Teachers are hypocrites and so are parents and friends. They are sarcastic and unfeeling. Insensitive and unsecure. Parents prevent me from almost everything, teachers pick on my ever mistake, friends take effort in shunning me.

My day was no better. Had to stagger through sickenning lessons compiled together with negative thoughts about tomorrow. It can hinder even the person with the strongest of will. Sadly, I couldn't grasp anything in class again today. Tried to keep my mouth shut but somes words just slip out. And again about cheating as something once again triggered my memories and now for an avanlanch of words again. Today, Mrs Wee made the truest of all true statement. "Don't cheat!" If you cheat, you get away with it. You look back 20years from now, do you think your conscience will leave you alone? Is it what you deserve? The person that i'm specifically targetting will get the meaning. Look for me if you want, scold me, insult and try to argue back. What does it shows? Your guilty?

I'm so used to arguing so much that it is becoming a tedious task keeping my mouth shut. I think i'm too opinionated. Obsesse with making a point and so on. Read the other L.A.B members blog and then i thought it over once again. Why do people keep shutting me up with their body language. Wuhan group was the best, second to none, beyond expression. I really miss that school so much that i teared in bed. It's making me emotional so much that I even considered asking my parents to bring me there again this year end. But for now, I guess I just have to keep myself going and working towards my goal. Talking about that, I remembered the word "Adversary". The revolting scenes that flash through my mind when I think of it. Ah, It's better not to talk about it yeah?

So let this be my resolution and determination, may my dreams come true one day.

2008-09-11T20:28:00.003+08:00

2008-09-11T20:25:00.000+08:00

More pictures now, Last time uploading all the pictures. Update my day some other time okay? =D

2008-09-09T21:57:00.006+08:00

2008-09-09T21:33:00.003+08:00

Aiya, another disappointing day for JunMing. Received horrible grades for my Geography and not so good grades for Chinese. Don't know what's gotten into me, like somehow, i got really addicted to games again. Now JunMing is open for ideas to brainwash and quit gaming. Yeah, I blame gaming for my tremendous drop in grades, it played an undeniable role in pulling me down. Well, back to the old phrase " Quit gaming, your life will get better " Lol. I joined gaming because of friends in the first place, so if no one is gonna bother to play with me, why bother staying and making clear fool of yourself? Reflect.

Anyways, the day was not so okay other then between 2.15 to 4 =D Omg!! L.A.B gathering, at 2C. Everyone came except Qian Hui, even some of the airpork's members came. Vacation for a lonely soul, hostage of humanity. Went for bubble tea and made noise. Finished eating and went to the playground where Pira and Ji Siong left the group and went for CCA. Oh ya, Miss Quek calls Ji Siong her xiong xiong. Lol! The playground though, kindled with my memories and made me recall the damn past. Regretted joining them ever since. Even till now

Then Xinying and me took bus 3 home. Same bus stop =D Lol.Chen lao shi wanted all the pupils that visited Wuhan to do a presentation. Decided to do a video anyways. Would be done by the end of next week =D Made fun of Eugene again on the bus. Actually Xinying was making fun of me and I started laughing as well. Eugene was being toyed by her. Rofl!

Dota after that! So much that 12people messaged me and i did not answer. Lol! Pira was 1 of them. Haha, Btw L.A.B people, Saturday at Pira's house for his "birthday party". Now for more pictures : Day 3 to Day 6

2008-09-08T22:10:00.008+08:00

Done!!! Up till day 3 that is, Okay continue tmr or wed ><>

2008-09-08T21:44:00.008+08:00

2008-09-08T18:56:00.002+08:00

Okay I know I promised pictures but than you see, JunMing's kinda busy, so yeah. No pics for today. Or maybe later >< So today, happily went to school. Nothing extraordinary happened and i was only visible at sometime of the day when people need me. Had the dumb assembly which i deemed total waste of time. Paul looked disgusting with the dog in his arms. Didn't see the point of it. If people are so concern about animals, why not the people advertising these kinda thing adopt one themselves, well education is teaching us to be humans and not beast. C'mon be materialistic. Simple message, wasted time.

And what's more, I became a hostage of humanity. There are many things I cannot do and it's all because of people around me. If they can just be a little more kind and not so sharp in their speech, maybe it will be better for everyone. I don't see why it has to turn out this way whereby speech is held within and abandoning previous cliques just to stand in the crowd. There are many such people, don't deny. The approval of friends mean nothing, take that from me, I am not wrong. Try it for yourselves, say something stupid infront of others. If you are famous, people laugh with you, if your down in the dirts, they jeer at you even if you make sense. What do I call it? Peer influence.

Wuhan trip was heart warming. You'll never believe how fun it was ! I didn't felt left out at all. It was great. Totally unlike 2E. I wished i never came back. Naive JunMing. tsktsk. Now it's all over. I really hope I'll get to go again next year. It'll definately will be a trip down memory lane. I miss Lian And Beng PTE LTD , Miss Airpork , Miss Pira's stupid jokes, Regina's laughters, Chee Siong's irritation ( Yucks! That sounds wrong ) , Ah Lian Crying , JunYi's hyper enthu, JiaXiu's natural lian, Peiyu Fish!, Pearl and QianHui's Hour-long conversation. Yeah so basically, JUNMING MISSES EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE!

Someone organise something fast or JunMing's going back to emo mode. Life have never seemed so nice to me before. I sincerely hope thaty this last forever. Friendship? Now you know what are true friends for, they NEVER leave you out. You talk to them, they reply with their heart, you curse and swear, they listen and comfort. On the Contrary, Untrue friends, drop you when they find something more interesting, curse and swear at you back when you shout, leave you when you do something wrong.

True? It's an Irony in life how materialistic people can be. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that being materialistic is bad, it's just that, people should be materialistic at the right time. Over doze of anything isn't a good thing. Remember.

2008-09-04T19:46:00.002+08:00

Woot! Homestay time =D You know what's the good thing? I get to use the computer =D No games though. Rofl! Okay I'm in a really ulu place ._. It's rather dark but the house is like rather nice. The first 4 days was sian kia. Now than quite okay, the exchange rocks =D I mean it.

First day wasn't much. Only flight for like 7~10hours than dinner. Shared room with Chee Siong ( Ji Xiong ) rofl! It wasn't so bad, until i got to know him that is lol. Kinda noisy and then needed Ms Lim and teachers to room check all of us ._.

Second day =D Explore China Lol. Went to like 3 places nothing much every thing in China is rather the same. I kinda like the pagoda thingy. Structure nice haha =D Lol I tried to do what the chinese do. Following the phrase " Do what the romans do in rome" yeah. Changed it. together with it, came a Pira. yeah! The Ah Lian gang was formed. Lol! Consist of XinYing, Carmen, QianHui, Pearl, Pira, Me, and another 3 more la. Can't remember. Took lots of photos. too bad can't upload now. Rofl!

Day 3, Also visit "about-the-same" places. Walk 7.8km. See, we did cross country okay! the only difference is the time taken so ._. Lol. You took 20mins for 3.5km right? We took 3hours for 7.8km =D Pwned. We've got entertainment at the same time. got Pira singing, Junyi doing cheers and everyone joining in. Ex-buddies visited us at the hotel at night, and day 3 is also the first shopping day =D Bought quite little stuff. Only managed to get a formal shirt. Nice though. And the buddies ._., my ex-buddy sucked never come see me. Only Eugene's buddy came to see him and Edmund.

Day 4 =D The only vivid info i got in my head : Shopping!!! Rock on Bought stuff for family members day 4 Lol! Everyone was high because the next day was exchange programme. Lol! And one thing. I'm listenning to my playlist finally! After sooooooooooooooo long. Everything was well la. Okay and great. The food was good and the people, first few days like keep looking out for my dam bag that I didn't have anything for anything else ._. So like after that, phew. Threw caution to the wind. Dun care ._. Great attitude. I know. And i got the BHB virus from Kang Hao. Geng Chun also kena. He kena major infection. I minor only rofl.

day 5. Visit school. And " Enjoy " 2hours of their lessons. Lol! Lunch than watch movie ! iRobots. Went out to eat then same old Pira's jokes, Regina's crazy laughters . Forgot details of the day le. Go home check cemera then tell the whole story. As the perfect phrase says " a picture tells a thousand words" Perfecto excuse =D

aiyo. So mafun type out every thing. Back on Sunday, upload all the pictures and DOTA...........!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I MISS DOTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! come back play like siao + sleep like pig ( sleep comes first ) BTW, THIS TRIP ROCKS OKAY. I'M THE Co-FOUNDER OF Ah Lian & Beng PTE LTD.

People! Jm's coming back Lol!

2008-08-28T23:06:00.002+08:00

Okay, my blog is so gonna be dead for the next whole week. I guess there won't be much tags in my tag box anymore. T_T And guys, please remember to stop ZhiTeng from tagging "You're blog can hold funeral le", if he do so please follow my guide and "comment" on him.

Thanks a million =D Aww.. It's so late now and i'm suppose to pack my dam bag but than again ._. Too lazy, got my mum to do it for me. And here I am Blogging Lol! Good luck for all those running for crosscountry tmr. I won't be going Muahahahahahahahaha. Lol! And i'm gonna miss teachers day, but than teacher's day for Wuhan people. But i only brought presents for my host. So, i'm gonna be a bad boy and not give anyone presents ._.

One more thing. ALL PLEASE REMEMBER TAG MY TAG BOX AS AND WHEN YOU LIKE. Lol! But, please don't spam, now people, don't make my blog look dead. Jonathan, I know your reading so tag when you are at it.

Okay now, for my final game before i go. Oyasumi Nasai. =D

2008-08-27T14:31:00.002+08:00

Kns! My Papers are like practically screwed. Every paper i worry for it ._. Wtf! I guess this term won't be getting any desirable marks ba. Sian leh. I want Marks!!!!!! Lol and today was like almost free period for the second half of the day. Lol! %!%#^@$@^@ was the only one that didn't give us free period.

Okay anyways, lets go through what i will not score ._.
Science -- Don't know how to do the first question for section B
English -- I wrote out of point
Maths -- Not sure
Lit -- Wrote too short ._.
History -- MCQ like almost all wrong ._. *Faints*
Chinese -- Surprisingly Okay!! OMFG!!

Anyways, must start studying like all the others ._. Like Fiona In particular! STUDY STUDY STUDY! Fong zi Rofl!

Okay nvm. Off to study ._.

2008-08-25T17:09:00.002+08:00

Wtf again for today. I kena scolding again + my English essay i wrote the wrong title. Sian liao La!!! First after English paper during recess, the damn chinese teacher in-charge of the Wuhan thing came in and saw JunHan hugging me ._. Thanks lor JunHan, kena by her. Sian leh.

Then History paper over le, JianYou had the fun of making me regret my answers. Why open the book. Once people open book see, i also will kp go see see de. See le than wtf! So many wrong liao la. I at first want A de, now see le if get B considered lucky liao ._.

Than was maths lesson. A certain someone went on a spree today and caught alot of people. Most were regulars than got Vanessa, Joel, Stef being extra-ed caught. I suay suay also kena. All the rest all got walk about I never sia. Catch me for nothing. Say i not revising when the science file is like right in front of me. I read through it like 3 times liao and a certain someone said that i never revise.

Than after that, i thought nothing happen sia. Than suddenly siao argue with Stef. If i were to judge, Stef would have won. Stef did not do anything to jeopadise the lesson nor disturb the certain someone. Neither did I. I find it disturbing. I was practically whispering to Sheryl in class, Okay fine, I admit that was wrong but i didn't really do anything bad, did i? I didn't join the rest in shouting like mad and crazy right?

And you know wad? The strangest thing is that Cheryl Poh which was talking to Stef and Sheryl Teo that was talking to me, wasn't caught. Prejudice? I assume so. During the half-an-hour lecture, I was like staring at her. When it was my turn to be critised, she actually called me a snub. She said I was heartless, and selfish to the worst degree that i cannot be saved. And guess wad? It all started because of a damn survey. You see the connection?

Heartless,Selfish -----> Survey.
No link ._. She called me Selfish!

The person worst hit was Joel. He was like innocent. What he said was a slip of tongue. It's not like he was showing open defiance. She said that he will be ignored by her and that she did not want to teach him at all. Wtf! I feel sorry for him sia.

Okay, enough of the whole prejudice thing, I could have gone on till tomorrow if i wanted to. Yeah! Than after that i went to a void deck near the school to study with Jon and Van! =D=D=D
At least they are kind enough to wait for me and study later =D Ate Instant noodle and revised maths and science.

2008-08-23T16:33:00.004+08:00

Wow! Today is a slow and boring day whereby everyone from schools are studying till their brain cannot absorb anything more. Worst of all, everyone's ignoring me. I was so bored that i had to go back to forums surfing again and I found this ._.

Wow. Bankai!

Did my revision 4times already and can't think of any other things to do ._. Listening to songs are still a huge pleasure to me. People are blogging less often now because of Common test. So I guess i should just stop here. Nah! Not possible. I just celebrated my first month for my blog.

Oh ya. I realise that more and more people are starting to type love messages on their msn/facebook/friendster. Not to mention anything bad to them but i would like to ask a question. "Are they really in love? Or are they just typing it to make themselves look better?"

I personally will say, I am not in love, neither am I looking for 1. And a reminder, my blog has nothing to do with love. It's not created by me. Yeah ZhiTeng, I am just that evil to remove the credits ._. Btw, I found a dota song! =D Uploaded on my playlist track number 98 go hear go hear. Lol!

Okay off to forum now ._.

2008-08-22T18:24:00.003+08:00

Today I'm gonna teach you how to comment (Flame). First, you start off with a normal conversation on forums, note that it must only happen in forums or risk having a black eye the next day. After awhile, find errors/faults in his statement/chat. He, naturally, will be aggitated, unless he is a retard that does not understands english in the first place.

Arguing is a common and accidental thing. Commenting is not =D

Okay, that was random oO. To start the day, the Almighty Mrs Khoo started the day with "you are late for 15mins" I dun get why she is getting so high over nothing. 15mins no big deal. Miss 15mins of your recess, just pon the next lesson for 15mins. Lol! I'm being naughty for the next few days. Cause I'm sick and tired of studying the same old passage 3times fold ._. And! I'm starting to find serious errors in my typings. I find too many loopholes =D I love fill-in-the-blanks but I hate holes more. Lol!

And than it was recess, continued by science, which Fiona stated it herself in her blog, did not understand. I wasn't paying attention in class today. I was busy doing the worksheets he handed out. Naughty me. ><( I kinda like it that way =D ) Mrs Ang's lesson was the same old thing. she wanted to do Merchant of Venice de, but ended up doing the presentation instead. Xi En and gang was deemed as cheats ._.

Speaking about cheats. I would like to voice my opinion of cheats as a whole no matter who or what position he/she holds. Cheaters are people that are cowardly enough to hide the truth that they turned to doing something underhanded to achieve the results they want. I support the anti-cheaters association to a large extend, so if there's one, don't forget to include me in it. Btw, I'm not flamming Xi En or anything, I'm speaking for cheaters as a whole. Clear about that. They are also a bunch of people that cannot be relied on to do important tasks. They are ashamed of their own personal abilities, so much that they want to conceal it.

I know there are many in our class. As far as I know, one of my "buddy" is also a cheat. Thus, everything of the above is therefore, bestowed upon you. Just talking about will instantly fill me up with indignation. Cursed upon the many sins that humans commit just to achieve what they want. Being playful is okay, but if you are all set out to cheat totally, I will condemn that person. Okay, this will lead on to politics and so on.

When it comes to politics please calm me down ._. I. L don't wanna go into that topiciars of society and hypocrites in the human race.

Mrs Ang's lesson ended peacefully with no casualties. i went home by bus 28 and tuition-ed at 1.40 to 3.10. And Luna got pwned today. 0 kills 11 deaths. =D . DotA's slowly getting cold, need to find alternative things to do soon. Blogging will definately be one of them =D Lol!

Bless tonight and live among us. Hide in our shadows and shine in our praises. Dweller of the Earth. Bless us.